the metanoia

For what it's worth

2012-01-06T22:01:00.001-08:00

a rag doll, dropped and forgotten, under a rusted fender on an oil stained driveway
one muddy tire track decorated her back from right to left

“There you are,” the little monster said and grabbed the doll’s leg
“Hiding in plain sight I see,” as IT dragged the her behind it’s strides

the doll, face down, rubbed roughly against the concrete sidewalk
her dress above her head, her white underwear stained by a muddy puddle splash

“Gross, look at your underwear!” IT chided.
“You are never clean,” shaking ITs head in mock sadness

no one saw when a button eye, threads finally giving way,as it rolled to the grass
the doll’s one eye watched as her other slowly faded from sight

“Can’t you see what you have done to yourself?”
“Don’t you know how ugly you are? Gross!”

IT crossed a road, tangling the doll’s head with cigarette butts, bits of litter and sticky chewed gum
“I wish you would take better care of your hair,” flicking a glance of distaste in the her direction

IT cut across a lawn where the big dog lived and dragged her though a fresh pile
When IT climbed the chain link fence, the doll’s an arm caught at the top

“Hurry up, we are late!” yelled IT, tugging her leg roughly.
The doll’s arm ripped at the seam and dropped to the big dog’s lawn, a new chew toy for later

“Now look what you’ve done, well, it’s your own fault for flailing your arms that way.”
IT kept moving, grinding grass and mud into her tattered clothes as her stuffing guts trailed behind.

The monster stopped and looked at the beaten rag doll
With one motion, shot a great arc, deposited it in the dumpster

“Two points!” IT cheered and walked on, “See, loser, you really don’t care about yourself, freak”
The rag doll looked up at a cloud passing, as it waited on top of plastic bags of rotten food

wondering what stink would bury her soon
to cover her shame

reconsidered

2011-12-19T20:47:00.000-08:00

awash in thoughts that stick like honey to my skin
oozing into my eyes and mouth,
the taste bitter and certain

treading in the open lake,
no salt to buoy me,
arms waiving back and forth farewell in the dark night water

i look at the moon, full and hopeful with tired eyes
aching body, panting breath
pounding, saturated mind

below is an endless deep chasm lake
carved in ancient times and filled to the brim
glacier run-off ready to swallow dead lake creatures, lures and anchors

waiting for me to cramp and sink to its ink depths of oblivion.

“why swim? you’ll never make it to shore,” IT says
“your arms are lead, you’ve been treading too long
“even floating is an effort. it’s over, just stop and come with me.”

i turn on my side to try moving away,
feeling its silken fins brush my legs and arms with fatigue.
scissor kicking, I cut at IT, to glide back, tracing my path to shore

each stroke accompanied by images of
mutual laughter around a dinner table
holding hands, arms swinging while walking in the woods
laying in a field, looking up at the sky, warm breeze on my cheeks and nose

IT whispers about tears
about betrayal and indifference
about arguments, unreached goals and failures

thankful the water in my ears muffles
the snide, jeering remarks and finger pointing.
My hand finally touches bottom and I stand up.

walking slowly through the molasses depths
from hip to thigh to calf to ankle
the rest of the way to the shore.

unwanted

2011-12-03T17:51:00.000-08:00

the blowing dirt sticking to hot, sweaty skin
and brown and black burrs clinging to socks

a finger and nail sliced while peeling an onion
and a tiny gray mouse scurrying among pantry boxes

a hangnail catching on paper and pockets, now bleeding
and tangled, knotted hair, a ball of defiance, which must be cut out

the shock of a stinging jellyfish on an idyllic white sand beach
a bee sting, leaving innards on a lance, piercing skin

the rancid taste of sour milk in Lucky Charms
and a red-hot, swollen spider bite

the squish of dog shit between toes in the summer grass
and a belly-up fish floating in a tank of algae haze

Small bits of food cemented to otherwise clean silverware
and frozen skin patches under a ski mask

Heavy layers of ice, amputating already weeping tree limbs
and a gorging mosquito slapped to a blood mark

sunburn blisters on tight fiery skin
and rotting chicken bone garbage perfume

This is who I am

cold-blooded

2011-11-18T13:18:00.000-08:00

there is a stillness in my bones
hands under my arms for warmth
i try not to move
to think...breathe
perhaps you will not notice me

curled up
in a small place
waiting, knowing you are there, basking lazily in the sunlight
just a few seconds of relief from thoughts
just a few seconds . . .

no matter
if i move or stay still
if i hold my breath or close my eyes
no matter

you're there, wrapping your enormous body around mine
an entangled dance
squeezing other thoughts out
strangling emotions
whispering breathy words in my ears
talking conversationally about familiar failures
locking eyes with me in mock sympathy, "you poor, poor Thing"

words creep from your lips
sounds i cannot ignore
it milks my agony inside
and strikes with venomous bites, piercing skin

slithering between thoughts of joy
coiling around hints of a smile
devouring whole a skittering hope
charming others through my eyes

bathe and dress
work and cook
participate and talk
drive and walk

cry and rant alone
i keep my distance
at It's insistence,
snake puppet

rooted

2011-09-29T14:47:00.000-07:00

every day
i exercise
i eat in a fairly good way
i do what needs to be done
i drive to work or work at home
i try to pray
i try to write to talk to live

every morning
i take those two capsules
hoping
wishing
wanting
waiting

nothing

still the monster digs in deeper into my soul
it wraps tendrils between my toes to trip up laughter and smiles
it forces stems into my chest, budding up flowers of heartache, the blossoms as blood-red as my cuts
it slithers vines up my spine to coil despair tightly around my throat
it gorges on sorrow to sprout new leaves of misery
it drinks in tears to thicken its branches with rage
it splices on words of defeat
it cultivates self hate and fertilizes with self doubt

every night it taunts me
mocking
chiding
jeering
ridiculing

growing stronger as it feeds

where did you go

2011-09-23T01:00:00.000-07:00

did you dissipate in the raging prairie winds, caught in the tall rustling grasses?
did you leap from a hanging outcrop, out of sight and out of mind to a rocky shore below?
did you slowly saunter down an open desert road, no car in sight with only insect songs and coyote yips to keep you company?
did you dig a hole of despair and burrow into its depression, covered up again with the worms melting back into the earth?

where did you go?

perhaps you climbed a mountain of indifference to slide down a stagnant glacier, creeping to the sea.
perhaps you still run around an endless desolate track, legs trembling, lungs screaming.
perhaps you sit in a corner of a busy room watching others come and go, unnoticed.
perhaps you crouched in the sagebrush, waiting for someone to find you, then finally, gave up and left to go anywhere else.

where did you go?

sometimes i see you peeking from a shattered window in an abandoned, barn, its paint peeling, rafters caving, in an empty field.
sometimes i glimpse you among the trash heap of life, threading through discarded things, stench of rot and forgotten wants.
sometimes i feel you skitter across the keyboard, leaving traces of what was and never will be again.
sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, you linger, only to fade into cold reality when a turn my attention to you.

where did you go?

i feel a chasm where you were once, dark, deep, endless.
i grieve daily, no remnants or traces of hope curling behind you like ribbons in your wake
i know you ran from me. i know you hide. i have no idea where to look anymore.
i think about you, i go through motions, breathing, doing what needs to be done, taking care not to rock any crafts afloat around my small splash and sink to the ocean floor.

where did you go Eros, Philos and Agape?
where did you go, love?

configured

2011-05-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

a humming buzz, global solitude among twittering
drowning out all matter of witty or mundane internet musings
muffled nothingness, routed declarations of
unconnected rhetoric
tapping keys of personality, crafting images and feelings

aphids, cooties, moths, all matter of vermin descend
electrified kin severed by server interrupts
backbone broken and crippled
communal vacant lots of disconnectedness
the razor edge of exile
waiting for repair, restore, reboot proxy selves
the wired, wireless connection then
rinsed, repeated

a wasteland

2011-04-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

in a snowy lot
a candy bar wrapper rustles among broken weeds
cigarette butts elbow each other among rocks
gray melting ice cracks softly
water trickles onto a disintegrating sidewalk

my two hands cup
making an empty shadow bowl
raw spring wind brushes the top of my thumbs

nearby a car alarm wails
a lone dog barks in response
a dirtied icicle falls from a nearby roof
bursting into countless shards

i let my hands fall to my sides
empty

de served

2011-01-14T14:00:00.000-08:00

de served

ice clinks and water is poured
clear liquid cools parched mouths
as i hand out drinks

i reach for another glass for myself
the cupboard yields one with lime deposits
the next has food dried in the bottom
my fingernail bends as i try to scrape it out
this one has smudges and lipstick marks

ahhh a clean one
i pour ice and water into it
only to find thick gray and white sediment
swirling in a tornado spiral

others drink
i watch, glancing at row of dirty vessels
thirsty

New Poem: Littered.

2011-01-14T13:26:00.000-08:00

Littered

Steamrolled paper thin
gravel biting my back

a gust of wind blows me with the dried leaf herd
scratching morse code on the asphalt

wedged in an underpass nook
destined for dirty roadway snow piles
to decompose in spring run-off

migration

2008-10-26T19:52:00.000-07:00

In early September, the weather cooled. I took the back roads to work one morning with the car windows cracked open, enjoying the fresh morning air. I tend to have blinders on when I drive, just ask those who wave and honk. I rarely see past the traffic before me. But that day, the chatter of birds broke through me reverie as I waited for the light to change. Hundreds of dark colored birds lined the telephone lines, perched on top of streetlights and business signs. A chorus of sound which drowned out all but the loudest traffic.

Several times in the next few weeks, I took the back roads to and from work. Often I would see a sparrows, grackles, geese or other flock of birds traveling southward to warmer climates, their fluid, amoebic groups in the sunny skies, moving---shifting---dancing an aviary ballet of sorts as they continued on their journey.

Lately, on the Palladia channel I’ve seen the coolest commercial. A flock of animated black birds in flight which then morph into details of birch trees and then the perspective shifts yet again into a forest birches and other trees as the ‘camera’ pulls back. It’s a commercial that stops me in my tracks, transfixing me through completion of the animation. The change in perspective, the change in subject is fascinating.

The images and activities of my aviary friends continued.

A lone hawk sitting atop a fence post, scanning the fields, hunting for dinner as the sun dims on the horizon during my commute home.

A small flock of birds, one early morning, startled into flight from our pear tree in the front yard as I took out the dogs for their ‘constitutional’. The dogs stood, transfixed by the rising mass of birds and muffled sounds of wing flaps. We all watched them rise into the air and depart before moving on to other business.

Birds dotting the lines between telephone posts along the road like Morse Code. I wondered what the words said. SOS?

Empty bird feeders swinging on tree limbs in our windy backyard. No birds in sight. For if the food gone, so are the birds, hunger drives them to look elsewhere.

Birds migrate in cycles including those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather. Habitat and weather changes are usually irregular or in only one direction. Migration is marked by its annual seasonality. In contrast, birds that are non-migratory are known as resident birds. Migrating birds vary migration travels, some short, some long as they move through this cycle. Some lose their way, most regain direction through the magnetic pull of their migrating pattern.

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It’s been a very long time since I’ve blogged in any sort of thoughtful manner. Part of it was time available to write. A new job and shifts in family life have kept my schedule rather packed, but this has not been the entire reason. I wouldn’t call my current spiritual state ‘a crises,’ but I must admit it has not been peaceful, steady, or void of some serious drama and frustration. For several months, I’ve noticed a steady decline in spiritual direction and desire to pursue it . . .fire dimmed a bit, you might say. I in no way believe following Christ is all ups and blessings. That line of thought has gotten many of us in a state of entitlement within Christianity that has dangerous pathways of disappointment and defeat. I do believe that a spiritual growth ebbs and flows as does the pattern of its pursuit.

I’ve noticed that within a discipleship journey I tend to close off conversation with God when I am under the most duress, thinking I can control my emotion, the situation or some aspect until it is ‘resolved’ to my satisfaction. My instinct is to look to my own ability to interpret and understand why. The worse it gets the more of a control freak I become, the less I turn to God for understanding and guidance. Yeah, counter intuitive, I know.

Do you listen in on God's council?
Do you limit wisdom to yourself? Job 15:8

It is very easy these days to preoccupy myself with other things. Lately, I’ve found myself driving to soccer or work or the grocery store, listening to books or music. I’ve played single parent for more weeks that I care to admit due to some shifts in Wayne’s job responsibilities. I’ve used online communities, movies, TV--any entertainment at my fingertips, to distract myself often from deep thought as I bounce from place to place, from event or obligation to home and work.

Conversation with God dwindled to almost nothing. Even those conversations seemed one-sided monologues, prayers for others done out of duty and habit. I was talking to God less and less. More importantly, I was not listening either.

Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Psalm 25:4-6

But for the past two months, I’ve been subject to these bird whispers, these subtle words of God breaking through the din of everyday life and my insulated turtle shell. Through the amoebic movement of a migrating flock---through the chatter of that flock as I stop for a train. I knew it was God, but I had no gumption to listen. No inclination to ponder why I was seeing all these bird signs of migration, of community, of loners, of transitions. I sat in my misery wondering about everything. As we all know, blind birds don’t really go very far.

My best thinking, you see, is when I write. Focusing on the blank page, talking out my ideas is where revelation comes. So when the chatter of birds drown out the din of my distractions, I sat down to write this. With the tenacity that only God can employ, I now understand the message delivered in the wings of birds, in sky silhouettes traveling to places far away, in the groups and flocks migrating through the cycles of the season.

It’s okay, Deana, I’m here. Time to move on.

The Empire and the Pulpit

2008-09-08T14:34:00.001-07:00

I read this today in Sojourner’s Updates:

Politics and pulpit.“Declaring that clergy have a constitutional right to endorse political candidates from their pulpits, the socially conservative Alliance Defense Fund is recruiting several dozen pastors to do just that on Sept. 28, in defiance of Internal Revenue Service rules.”

This is interesting since I’ve recently finished Jesus for President (Claiborne), and yet even more spooky if you consider a book I’m reading right now… Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile. In an excerpt today from that book, Golden and Bell talked about the church’s involvement with government and the dangers that shows throughout Biblical times which yields a cycle of greed ($ and power) and the exploitation of others in the process..

“Danger, Will Robinson!” Beware of the ‘rights’ of this sort of action. I am not in favor of endorsements from the pulpit. It smells of Rome’s religion of government for the people as might makes peace. The systemic glorification of a ‘religious government’ has never gotten us where God wants us to be.

Endorsement in the pulpit? Perhaps a mere step in the overall corruption for the sake of religion. I for one do not see endorsement of a candidate as a good thing…as a ‘right’? We as the body of Christ are meant to be the counter narrative to mainstream society. By endorsing a candidate, we are no different than a polical party, a corporation, a special interest group.

We should be less interested in endorsing a candidate or one or two hot button issues. We should be more interested in making sure oppression does not exist in any form. Oppression that starts with our own consumerism, narcissism, and ignorance of the world. For me it is much more important to learn about where oppression exists, to do something to help and to tell others.

Like here:

http://www.firstgiving.com/waterforall

A wolf, a Charlotte and Mrs. T

2008-08-21T21:04:00.000-07:00

"If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction and it's not so bad" --C. S. Lewis

Some of you may already know my knack for discovering spiders in our basement around this time of year as I blogged about it last Fall. (check it out here ) Yes, October is approaching, usually the month when I see the most arachnids in our basement laundry room, yet I’ve already had several spider encounters recently. Let me share.

Imagine my duress to stumble on a rather large wolf spider sauntering through the bedroom door in the early morning light in August. Mind you, this spider had to make it up two sets of stairs and three cats to make it this far. Why this room? There are others before it in the hall after all. Yet here it stood in 8 sturdy legs. Seriously, do I have spider magnet or something? You would think that I would at lead get SOME sort of spidey power for the bites I’ve received in my life. Nope. Nada. No web spinning or swinging from buildings. But I digress. Several pounding objects later including a journal, book and shoe, plus a few exclamations of distain from me, the now flattened adventurous Wolf Spider Columbus was on his way to the new world via a toilet flush in a Kleenex boat. Each instance like this draws me closer to spraying for bugs around the house. I’ve not given in yet, though.

For the second time in my life, “Charlotte” has now appeared outside our front door, spinning a nightly web. She creates her web art between the porch light and rail, neatly tidying up in the morning. My mother and I named a similar spider that who spun webs in the small rectangular window next to our front door one summer many years ago. It was fascinating watching through glass as it spun a web each night, caught meals, ate, then took down the web each morning. I learned a lot about Charlottes that summer and their practices, feeling safe inside as I observed. That Charlotte met an early demise as it poorly chose to scurry across the path of my spider-hating brother one day as he came in the front door. No more Charlotte. This new Charlotte smartly scurries up into the light fixture when we open the door, but more than once I’ve almost backed into the web as I took the dogs, Charlotte deep in ‘web management”, still in the center, waiting for a “Delicious Dish”. I’ve kept with my policy of outdoors ‘ok’ indoors ‘dead’ and it lives on. That is, unless Charlotte finds her way on me. Then all policies are null and void.

Now a new and much larger “Charlotte” has entered into my life. You see, my daughter’s 4th grade teacher has a spider for a PET in the classroom. GAH! This is not ordinary garden variety spider, but and biggest tarantula I’ve ever seen. In fact, the teacher noted, “She molted this summer and is much bigger now.” Holy cow people, the BODY of that arachnid was as big as a man’s palm. I know this because one of the fathers during school open house held it. Shivers ran down my spine as I approached the room and saw hefty ‘Charlotte’ in the doorway area on the teacher’s arm. No, Charlotte is not an appropriate name for that brutish mass of hair and goo. It is by no means as delicate and articulate as the E.B. White’s Charlotte conversing with Wilber and crating fantastic advertising web. It is big, brutish, hairy, by its mere size it reeks of attitude. Therefore, I call it Mrs. T. So there I stood, wondering--should I stay outside or try skirt the whole scene to get into the room? Even Kayla seemed a bit timid to enter the room to check out her new desk and class.

One thing I’ve learned as a past teacher and now parent is my daughter, and other children for that matter, observe and imitate grownups quite often, especially in cases of fear. When teaching after school programs in Mililani, HI, decades ago, I knew if I overreacted to something such as a banana spider or centipede in the classroom, I was guaranteed a rounding chorus of the same type of scream and reaction from 25 Kindergarteners. With that in mind, I approached “Mrs. T” without comment and listened to what the teacher. “You can pet her.” “Pet her very gently on her body here” “If these antennae come up, she is agitated, so stop” On and on she went, instructing timid students and grownups how to touch her gargantuan friend.

“So what your telling me is that I’m all tied up inside...baby steps untie your knots” “Baby steps. Baby steps.” Bob Wiley in What about Bob

Finally I bucked up and pet the blasted thing exactly three passes over Mrs. T’s abdomen. I did this in part to show Kayla it was okay (she did not pet Charlotte that night, she informed me the next week that she pet the spider, too, in class). I also did it to overcome this fear of spiders. And I have to admit also that part of it was to be able to say, “I’ve pet a tarantula and it wasn’t so bad.” Now the deed is done, the baby step taken towards a more reasonable view and treatment of spiders.

Some could say spiritual journeys of discipleship are similar to my tarantula experience. Constant growth through learning, trusting, sticking out our necks to change our opinion, our direction, not matter how small the step is progress.

I think that many of us, when Christ has enabled us to overcome 1 or 2 sins that were an obvious nuisance, are inclined to feel..that now we are good enough. He has done all we wanted Him to do and we should be obliged if He would now leave us alone." --C. S. Lewis

Often I think our American dream of big, fast, quick, successful does a lot to damage those seeking God and Christ. We are taught to believe success likes in the large, visible changes in character to show success. These are most often noted and celebrated such as a baptism, a ‘conversion’ “public confession” or ‘confirmation”. These are very important, but not where most the real work of spiritual growth is done. We can say, we’ve taken major steps with these celebrations, yet God is constantly reaching to us from the next thing or place we need to be, pulling us forward through our daily lives, not allowing us to get to comfortable with our past resumes.

It’s that small decision on how to react or change, the seemingly inane choices we make that make a differences. “Should I get down on that person? Should I be mad or forgive and let it pass? Should I be generous? Should I acknowledge that person and let them into my lane of traffic? Should I spend my time leisurely at movies or on the computer or should I find a way to help for others? Should I hoard my money or find places where it is need more than my bank account?” Indeed, changes in spiritual character often come in the trenches. It involves taking risks and leaving the safety of what we know ‘works for us”, those often stagnant places of comfort. God’s pull on our lives to grow in discipleship is loving, constant and absolutely relentless. Yes, there are back steps, but overall, spiritual growth spring boards off this momentum, often performed with trepidation, uncertainty, and a bit of fear of the unknown, reaching out for the hand than leads us onward.

"Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make everyday are of such infinite importance." --C. S. Lewis

As for my spider encounters? Well, there are conferences in October in my daughter’s classroom, so I imagine, small steps will occur as I again visit the tarantula’s lair.

“Baby step to four o'clock. Baby step to four o'clock,” Bob Wiley in What About Bob.

living an imbalanced life. . .on purpose

2008-08-01T23:43:00.000-07:00

My fellow conspirator and blogger, One Ordinary Radical, talked about yin yang and balance in work and play on his blog a awhile ago. I answered a little, but then when looking for more on this topic and now I have blogged on yin yang.

The yin yang symbol has been adopted in western world in hippie and retro hippie culture. The image lingers today on temporary tattoos and surfboards. They show up on swimwear and guitars, doo rags and key chains. The ancient symbol of balance has been bastardized by free world consumeristic expression, as are many sacred symbols (case and point, are rhinestone crosses really the best expression of torturous crucifixion? probably not.) As often is when we make a dollar or a million on marketing Jesus or yin yang, often concepts surrounding these symbols become diluted and watered down. American markets are masters at manipulating concepts and practices into molds of our liking, often in the name of ‘free expression’ or freedom. But I digress.

A Yin Yang definition states:

"The yin yang is the easily recognized Taoist symbol of the interplay of forces in the universe. In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang represent the two primal cosmic forces in the universe. Yin (moon) is the receptive, passive, cold female force. Yang (sun) is masculine- force, movement, heat.

The Yin Yang symbol represents the idealized harmony of these forces; equilibrium in the universe. In ancient Taoist texts, white and black represent enlightenment and ignorance, respectively."

Yet in the black and white symbol of the ying yang are dangerous suppositions when associated to Christian life-balance.

Controlling Balance
As followers of Christ, Sabbath is part of the Judeo-Christian backdrop of our lives. Yes, according to the Bible, a time of rest should occur at regular intervals. Yes, Jesus practiced Sabbath, but Jesus also broke it often to help those in need. What does that say bout balancing work and play in our lives? Better yet, what are we categorizing as work vs. play? Where does service fit into that picture? In the Bible, there are debates in Jewish practices for what is considered work. Even today, centuries later, some groups of Jews thing work is turning on a light or walking anywhere.

I believe One Ordinary Radical's intent was work and play in the overall sense. I propose there is more to work than a job and there is more to rest or play than the ceasing of working at a job. In fact we are encouraged throughout the Bible to serve others countless times more than resting. In this instance the yin yang would not be an even balance of rest and play. You only have to look at Jesus’ life to see the imbalance of recreation time to working to bring heaven on earth.

Jesus’ view of heaven on earth is not Disney or Magic Mountain, white water rafting and watching movies or eating at an excellent restaurant. Heaven on earth feeds the hungry, gives a drink the to thirsty, clothes the naked, provides shelter and dignity for all. Truly, the needs of the poor and oppressed are simpler than vacations or nights out on the town. It comes right down to water, food, shelter and freedom from slavery/oppression and war. For that reason, I am for imbalance in my own life as I strive to be a part of God’s vision. In that vision I see less play and more work for the Kingdom here on earth that needs to be done for my fellow brothers and sisters at the most basic levels of quality of life.

God vs. Human
The Bible says it clearly from the start in the ‘wrongly controversial’ creation stories. (We should rely less on the literal story of creation and more on the POINT of them.) We see it in the Tower of Babel and throughout Kings and prophets. God is God and humans are not. As followers of Christ, we walk in the manner and life of Jesus, We aspire to become more Christ-like, to be ‘little Christs,” but in the end, we do not literally become another Jesus the Christ. Jesus was God and human. We will always still be human. For that basic reason, I trust my own judgment in life balance less than what God wants for me.

The scripture I’ve been chewing on for a couple of months is Micah 6:8 which says, “Seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God.” Not a whole lot of resting in that statement. Some may argue that walking humbly means we are saying we are human by following Sabbath time and resting, learning that we are not god-like in our capacity. Even so, that is one third of the Micah scripture. Not equal in balance by any means. According to this scripture, clearly 2/3 of the time we are to be faithfully living out God’s vision of kingdom life in mercy and justice.

In the end, the yin yang of God vs. us should always favor the former and not the latter. Here the key in not the balance of listening to God and ourselves equally, but to solely listen to and depend on God for guidance. God’s relationship to us is not an equal balance on any level. God’s guidance that often ask us to work more than play, do more than we think we can, push us way past our own perceived limits to trust, do and follow the will of God much more than our own will.

I must live the imbalance of discipleship and what God wants in the world over my understanding of work/play (life) balance in my own personal space. For that reason, the yin yang doesn’t work well for me.

Just a few current imbalances we need to work and pray ceaselessly to make right.

* The average teenager spends $101 a week.
-- $101 would educate 2 African children for an entire year
* One dollar buys a soda or a bottle of water in the US.
-- One dollar gives person clean water for a year.
* Nearly three billion people world-wide live on less than $2 a day.
* Est. time reading this blog, 5 minutes. Number of people who have died during that time for lack of clean drinking water (1 every 15 seconds) = 20

Consider the global priorities in spending in 1998
Global Priority $U.S. Billions

Cosmetics in the United States 8
Ice cream in Europe 11
Perfumes in Europe and the United States 12
Pet foods in Europe and the United States 17
Business entertainment in Japan 35
Cigarettes in Europe 50
Alcoholic drinks in Europe 105
Narcotics drugs in the world 400
Military spending in the world 780

And compare that to what was estimated as additional costs to achieve universal access to basic social services in all developing countries:

Global Priority $U.S. Billions
Basic education for all 6
Water and sanitation for all 9
Reproductive health for all women 12
Basic health and nutrition 13

http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Facts.asp

global community, global kin. . . one voice united

2008-07-16T12:13:00.000-07:00

“The lack of a caring community that incarnates the Word makes us more and more incapable of being heard.”
- Melba Maggay
Filipino theologian

There is strength in numbers. The louder the protest about injustice, the more likely it will be heard. The louder the protest about issues of mercy . . .the more people who care others through actions, thoughts and words, the more likely others will take notice.

Save Darfur: Al-Bashir Genocide, War Crimes Charges Underscore Need for Security Council ActionFowler: ‘The world at-large, primarily the Security Council, has allowed al-Bashir to continue his reign of destruction, recalcitrance and violence with utter impunity. Moreno-Ocampo has…Read more

We need to keep up this momentum and push this issue to the forefront of politics and global communities.

What do you know abut Darfur? What are you doing about it?

The most powerful tool in your arsenal is your voice. Tell others. Encourage them to add their voice to the community of those who vehemently oppose the genocide in Darfur. Pray to God, let God hear your cries for those with no voices.

Love Christ. Be Christ’s hands, feet, and voice and love your neighbors on earth (regardless of location). Raise your voice high. Stop this insanity.

(Care + Community) + (Notice + Action)= Resolution & Justice

Here are some places to get involved NOW. Today. The next place you click.

Save Darfur: http://www.savedarfur.org/content
Genocide Intervention Network: www.genocideintervention.net
Waging Peace: www.wagingpeace.info
International Crisis Group – Darfur: www.genocideintervention.net
STAND: Student Anti-Genocide Coalition:www.standnow.org

The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 1 Corinthians 12:12

Why are you still here? What are you waiting for?

Time to get up to speed

Buechner and the great temptation of anger

2008-07-11T20:33:00.001-07:00

Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back—in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you. --Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking

Buechner’s description is full of imagery and gives a certain personality to this emotion. Anger is one of my greatest temptations. It is very easy for me to automatically slide into this state of mind. Anger is a familiar friend, predictable, comfortable companion. I used to like being angry.

I’ve realized that a self gratifying anger is not a state of mind I should be cultivating. It’s a terrible waste of energy and it does great damage to my state of mind and relationships with others. Harbored, it becomes the worst self-righteous bitterness that consumes me and my thoughts. I can’t give grace to others in that state of mind and I certainly can’t receive it. And for that fact alone, it distances my relationship to God as it sucks me into the vortex of self cannibalism. I not longer like anger like I used to.

Refraining from acting in anger is a requires vigilant effort and constant reliance on God. Vengeance is God’s, not mine. A lesson I continue to learn and practice.

It is a cardinal principle of discernment that the Lord always speaks in peace, even if he is rebuking or chastising those he loves. - Thomas H. Green

Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet"; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law. - Romans 12:8-10

How do you handle anger?

social justice and the gospel

2008-07-08T19:40:00.001-07:00

“It is not a matter of engaging in both the gospel and social action, as if Christian social action was something separate from the gospel itself. The gospel has to be demonstrated in word and deed. Biblically, the gospel includes the totality of all that is good news from God for all that is bad news in human life—in every sphere. So like Jesus, authentic Christian mission has included good news for the poor, compassion for the sick and suffering justice for the oppressed, liberation for the enslaved. The gospel of the Servant of God in the power of the Spirit of God addresses every area of human need and every area that has been broken and twisted by sin and evil. And the heart of the gospel, in all of these areas, is the cross of Christ.” - Christopher J. H. Wright

It is better to just look at what God wants, not what we can fit into our personal views, schedules and segmented groups of how to ‘deal with’ the poor and oppressed. The gospel and social action are not separated and should not be in matters of injustice and mercy. Jesus cared for the poor and the rich and even the overly ‘religious’ or ‘pious’. Each needed different healing. Each were a deeply embedded part of his ministry. We must follow Jesus’ example and let it permeate our lives…service, healing and sacrifice…in words AND in deeds.

the vocabulary of hate

2008-07-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

''The first thing we have to do is change hearts,'' Betancourt told McClatchy in an exclusive interview. ``We have to change the vocabulary of hate. When I dreamed of being free, I told myself that I could not engage in hate or rancor.''

''It's a neurotic world, and there are lots of conflicts,'' she said. ``There's a food crisis and an energy crisis. People are very anxious about this. We need to reflect on how we behave.''

''The guerrillas are our enemy,'' Betancourt said in the interview. ``But we shouldn't insult them. We should show them how to seek a dignified exit through peaceful negotiations. If we don't defeat them correctly, we will sow the seeds of hate for the future.''

- Ingrid Betancourt Pulecio

_____________________________

The short-term exacting of righteous, perhaps even justifiable vengeance does not seem to be in Betancourt's vocaulary. Hostage of FARC for over 2K days, she does not resort to 'justice,' in the sense of our version of justice. The justice of tried in court and punished. True to her polictal leanings, Ingrid shows a Christ-like view of reconciliation for the better good of all in her country.

Do we in America do the same? We are under the impression that might makes right. Perhaps we can learn from Ingrid in some instances. I know at a personal level, I need to rely less on justice-based retribution. This is a hard lesson to learn, to apply.

I would be curious as to how she would address Darfur and Zimbabwe. When force and genocide of masses of people are at stake. Then, of course, the US still does little in these areas to help other than a few policies a the state level, official statements at the national level and the protests of non profit organizations. One can only hope it will not be too little too late.

What is our current vocabulary of hate? What can we personally do to change that? Things to think about anyway.

Ingrid Betancourt Pulecio (born December 25, 1961) is a Colombian-French politician, former senator and anti-corruption activist. Betancourt was kidnapped by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) on February 23, 2002, and rescued from captivity six and a half years later in Operation Jaque, along with 14 other hostages (three Americans and 11 Colombian policemen and soldiers), by Colombian security forces on July 2, 2008, who tricked the FARC into believing they were a leftist non-governmental organization. In all, she was held captive for 2,321 days after being taken while campaigning for the Colombian presidency as a Green.*

* Green Party of Colombia Option Center is a Colombian political party associated with the philosophies of the Green party, the "political middle". The party advocates for having an ecological conscience, social justice, participative democracy, non violence resolutions, human sustainability and respect for diversity in order to improve the Colombian social, economic and political struggle and bring to and end the Colombian armed conflict.

needed interruptions

2008-07-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

Justice cries out from so many corners of our society. But unless events break into our lives - events like a man peddling for change on the corner or a picture on TV of a child living in poverty - and force us to ask questions, we often do not notice. Unless our lives are interrupted by an uncommon means, we tend to keep up business as usual. We need to be interrupted.

Will Samson
Justice in the Burbs: Being the Hands of Jesus Wherever You Live

Needed interuptions. Small shockers that jolt us from our day dreams. Interruptions that shake us into awareness of others is necessary. I think about how evil creeps into our lives each day. Evil is not like the movies or overly dramatic books. I think evil shows up in over-extending ourselves into looking only at what affects us. Evil is in the numbing rhythmn of ‘don’t rock the boat” routine. This numbing has us looking past those who need help to the status quo, encouraging us to think more of our own needs and ’self help’ as we watch talk shows and read books to improve ourselveshinking we can fix ourselves into being happy. Evil is the imbalance of self-need, of which Jesus did not practice.

What would Jesus need today? Jesus probably wouldn’t have an answer to that question, as it is more of a personal need. Not Oprah or Dr. Phil. Not Steven Covey. (The list is endless these days)

Of course, Jesus spent his ministry jolting others into awareness. If we are Jesus hands and feet. . . the body of Christ on earth, are we to jolt others as well? Someting to think about.

Your thoughts?

God-shaped hunger

2008-07-02T20:41:00.001-07:00

Macrina Wiederkehr

Most of us have to taste our need in a fierce sort of way before our hungers jar us into turning our lives over to God…. In the Divine Arms we become less demanding and more like the One who holds us. Then we experience new hungers. We hunger and thirst for justice, for goodness and holiness. We hunger for what is right. We hunger to be saints. Most of us are not nearly hungry enough for the things that really matter. That’s why it is so good for us to feel a gnawing in our guts. Macrina Wiederkehr, A Tree Full of Angels

Often I think society teaches us to hunger for the wrong things. Things, looks, conditions of our body are all obsessions we feed on through media, unsaid words, the passing down of familial views on items of non-importance in God’s eyes. We hunger for the perfect body, the right clothes, another pair of shoes. We hunger for retirement and 401Ks. We hunger for security in finances, the right ‘wheels’ and the perfect life of the “Rich and Famous”. When we hunger for these types of things, we are consuming junk food. We cannot fill a God-shaped hunger through filling it other things.

When we fill ourselves with what God desires, we see through God’s eyes, what we should hunger for instead, and in the process, are less tempted by that junk food, understanding what an impoverished diet we are consuming. We understand the need for more substantial, lasting nourishment.

One of my friends noted on another blog that this hunger, at its root, is a hunger for love and acceptance. If that is so, how does that fit into what God wants us to hunger after justice? Is that still the motivation? Or is love and acceptance now received the new motivation?

What are your thoughts?

stanley and the kingdom

2008-07-01T09:26:00.001-07:00

I read a lot of quotes during the week. Often they, like portions of scripture, are something I chew on and think about. Sometimes they lead to new books or articles to read written by or about the author.

Today I am starting a portion of the blog where I share these with you and ask your opinion. Here is the quote I read today from Stanley Hauerwas.

[W]e must first experience the kingdom if we are even to know what kind of freedom and what kind of equality we should desire. Christian freedom lies in service, Christian equality is equality before God, and neither can be achieved through the coercive efforts of liberal idealists who would transform the world into their image.” Stanley Hauerwas, The Servant Community: Christian Social Ethics” in The Hauerwas Reader

I like the connection between Christian freedom and service. Often I think people look at service, missional or otherwise as binding and inhibiting in their lives. Perhaps it is because there is too much junk/noise from other commitments? I agree that forcing people or guilting them into service is not freedom-giving either. As Christians, we must always be watchful for how our opinions and actions are coercive or life-giving to others. We are not, after all, to transform the world to our own ideal image of the Kingdom, but God’s vision. And that, takes faithful living as well as scriptural study, something we could all use a little bit more of anyway.

What are your reactions to it?

a testimony of treading water, garages and creativity

2008-06-27T20:17:00.000-07:00

A long time ago, I was bent on being famous in fiber art. Most of my extra time was for this purpose. Weekends, evenings after work deep into the night were spent creating art in my studio, honing my craft. My end game were competing in exhibits, selling work and looking towards when I would be a part of museum collections. I spent other time updating a website store, buying supplies, teaching and conversing with other fiber artists to extend my network online. I thought about ideas for creating pieces while I drove to my 9-5 job and sketched out ideas on scraps of paper during droning meetings. I dreamed of quilting patterns as I walked at night and as I did the laundry. And for my efforts, I reaped some benefits of all that energy. But in retrospect it was a lot like spiritually treading water.

A little over 5 years ago, several of the people I know began the journey of starting a new church in our town. We knew it would be lots of work and time commitment, but most of us felt the call to do so. But really, we had no idea what this would really be like. Non of us had ever planted a church before. It was about half way through this time that I realized that God really wasn’t in my life that much. I had put God in the garage so to speak. God was still accessible, but truly not part of my daily living space. For most of my life, I gave God little thought outside of any ‘church activity’ such as worship, church events and the like. My life was God or other, not both.

Convenient

Compartmentalized

Safe

But as my service to planting this church increased, I realized this view would have to give way to something else.

Our God is a wild God, and cannot be tamed. God cannot be defined, categorized or controlled. God is God and we are not, no matter how much we try to lord over our lives. I began to understand this as I learned to practice the presence of God, to read the scripture more and wrestle with it, to learn to talk to God anytime. Often my talks or prayers were not the calm, eyes closed version of contemplative prayer. Indeed, I raged and lamented to God with my eyes wide open, openly yelling in protest and anger. But through this God let me rail and wriggle and kept whispering what had to be done next. Then in slow AND in great leaps. . . things starting shifting.

Unnecessary commitments dropped. I spent my time, my energy in different directions, for different reasons. I began to realize that discipleship was more than going to church on Sundays. Discipleship was a mix of joy and sacrifice, sometimes pleasant and often unpleasant and confusing, challenging my perception of the word Christian. This was not the bill of goods my born-again colleagues touted in college. There some tried to convince me that being saved for heaven was within my grasp if I just said a certain paragraph of word and I was ‘in.’ It seemed to good to be true, and now I know it isn’t that easy. This was not what I understood from my UMC roots. This did not fit any of my experiences in various churches and denominations as we traipsed across the country during my husband’s Navy years. God was in my face all the time. God was making me look into the mirror or myself and there when I cringed at what I saw.

For some reason I never put it all together. I am a firm believer that there are many timelines in spiritual growth. God uses all in the time that is needed based on who we are. Indeed, I am often more like doubting Thomas than I care to admit. Therefore, I must put myself in the spiritual late bloomer category, giving new meaning to the phrase, “Great Awakening”. I learned that instead of the easy road, discipleship will require much more than just some words, it requires action, a lot of tripping on bumpy roads and several rollercoaster rides. It requires constant challenge and transformation. The journey is messy, gritty, and wild. It requires me to be more foolish and less cool. It shows me my pride and humbles me in the same instance. The more I listen to God whispers the less controlled and contained my life becomes. Yeah, God does drive me crazy.

What I do now is so different than 5 years ago. And even in the past year, this has shifted to a more intense focus on areas of concern to God...poverty, justice of the oppressed and mercy. This is so different than me from the past 'famous artist' stage where I had no time to commit to service projects or extra money for charities. I read a lot more as well. Bell, Claiborne, Willard, Zacharias, McLaren, Yancey, Wright, Lewis, and Miller have challenged my understanding of Christian discipleship, service and sacrifice. Now God lives not only in my house, but in other places I go . . . work, play, and places in between. As my good friend Ben Simpson said last week in his sermon, the spirit of God fills our cups and overflows into our lives and those around us. It seems that right now, I am always stepping in spilled water. Right now, the scales are off my eyes and my lenses are focused on what needs to be done in God’s Kingdom.

I do still create, but with words, not fabrics. I used to write a lot before the artist thing. Now I am back at it, one of my original loves. If only a few people read my blogs, that’s okay. I will still write as it is truly how I process thoughts. I still have the studio, but it is for the most part, inactive and I’m not sorry for it. It seems as if others are more concerned about my lack of ‘art piece production’ than I am. Instead my thoughts are on other things. Mostly Micah 6:8, Isaiah, Micah and all of James and Jesus.

Now as I drive, do dishes or walk, my creativity focuses on ways to affect what is happening in Darfur, how the children in Tanzania and Uganda our family sponsors are doing, how to help fulfill the needs of the hungry and homeless, what is the best way to be a socially-conscious consumer, how can I pass this passion on to the youth of our church and also trying to move towards being as green as possible. My time is also spent talking to God about these things and in prayer for others. For me, this is a better type of creativity. Onward.

My friends, what good is it to say you have faith, when you don't do anything to show that you really do have faith? Can that kind of faith save you? If you know someone who doesn't have any clothes or food, you shouldn't just say, "I hope all goes well for you. I hope you will be warm and have plenty to eat." What good is it to say this, unless you do something to help? Faith that doesn't lead us to do good deeds is all alone and dead!

Suppose someone disagrees and says, "It is possible to have faith without doing kind deeds."

I would answer, "Prove that you have faith without doing kind deeds, and I will prove that I have faith by doing them." You surely believe there is only one God. That's fine. Even demons believe this, and it makes them shake with fear.

Does some stupid person want proof that faith without deeds is useless? Well, our ancestor Abraham pleased God by putting his son Isaac on the altar to sacrifice him. Now you see how Abraham's faith and deeds worked together. He proved that his faith was real by what he did. This is what the Scriptures mean by saying, "Abraham had faith in God, and God was pleased with him." That's how Abraham became God's friend.
You can now see that we please God by what we do and not only by what we believe. For example, Rahab had been a prostitute. But she pleased God when she welcomed the spies and sent them home by another way. Anyone who doesn't breathe is dead, and faith that doesn't do anything is just as dead! James 2: 14-26

unplugged

2008-06-17T20:24:00.000-07:00

It has been a few days, neigh, weeks since I’ve last blogged. I’ve been, as they say in the corporate world, “Out of Pocket.” More like unplugged. Unplugged makes me think of the MTV or House of Blues by the same name where artists play without electronics, making their sound more true, definitely different, and new kind of sound at the root of all their songs.

I spent 7 days in mission with 5 other adult leaders and 14 youth ages 12-18. Yes, this meant no TV, no movies or much internet except on our mobile devices late at night as we prepared to crash for a few hours. We received barely any news about the flooding Iowa, although we did experience a 4 hour delay in Indiana on I 70 where the road was closed. We heard days after the tornado hit Manhattan, KS. Basically, all the normal channels of noise, communication, or news were silenced. Unplugged from our daily existence.

For a week, we served in the Kingdom of God, interacting outside of our comfort zones, serving food and talking to homeless people in parks and in programs such as Sunday Breakfast and St. John’s Hospice. We spent time praying for those in need, cleaning up neighborhoods of weeds and trash, visiting with the wheelchair bound and elderly, learning about other cultures and neighborhoods. We learned, we did what was needed or asked of us in the areas we served, we then came home to ‘normal’ life.

But it doesn’t seem as normal anymore.

It really isn’t the same. Or rather, I am different.

For a week, I unplugged from work, from regular family responsibilities and focused on being a better disciple through service, through looking for Christ in everyone I met. And in that light, it was the most transformational week in mission I’ve ever spent.

Here are just a few people I had the privilege to meet.

Julio was a man in the recovery program at Sunday Breakfast. He and Chef John pretty much ran the kitchen area. Julio looked to be in his late thirties, a slim man of Hispanic descent with several visible tattoos on his neck and arms. After spending 3.5 hours sorting and organizing the kitchen pantry, we worshipped with all the homeless men there for a free meal and the program participants before serving them dinner at their tables. One homeless man testimony started with, “I thank God for this day.” With no instruments except for the beat kept by clapping hands, we sang hymns familiar and unfamiliar. I could feel the holy spirit in that room.

Julio echoed all statements made by our team with an, “Amen.” Julio radiated gratefulness and thankfulness. He was great with the kids who helped in the kitchen. He was great with those who served food to the homeless at tables and not through a line, the only place I’ve seen do this. My hope is to carry but a small portion of Julio’s example back into my life.

Abdul, a homeless Muslim, was also a cook in army in Germany when the Wall fell. He didn’t like Germany for all its rain and understands the relentless needs of feeding people three squares a day. He had no net of people to fall back on when he went homeless, and has been on the streets for 2 years. Abdul was remaking his sleeping bag bed when we approached him. He has a homemade quilt-tied sleeping bag with actual neck ties at the end so it could be rolled up and fastened. Our conversation went on for about 15 minutes with three youth and myself. The whole conversation was that of mutual interest in understanding who we were as people. He has plans to get back on his feet. My dream is to treat all people with kindness and respect like that conversation was with Abdul.

His name might have been Rudy…but his name has been known to change as Joetta from Hands for Hope said. He was in LOVE Park. One of many men hanging around in the park that evening, ,I couldn’t tell if he was homeless. He said he was now going to have a home as a caretaker of a building, living in an apartment on the premises he received through pastor. There was no doubt in my mind that Rudy was full of the Holy Spirit as he witnessed to be for over 10 minutes. Rudy loved God more than any sack lunches we were offering. He was well fed on the Spirit. I should be so blessed.

I was introduced to Mary in the common area of a floor at the Simpson House
She was a small lady, light in build in a wheelchair. She talked of Fairmount Park, the largest park in the country and its issues with deer population. We bonded over our love for the movie, “The Quiet Man,” with John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara. She actually visited the location where they built the house Wayne and O’Hara lived in. She was there in the 50’s and has ties in that area. She reminisced about being called a Yank in Ireland.

Bruce was a tray processor and program participant at St. John’s Hospice and in the program. Jerry was a volunteer who also took trays. Both were very positive men whom I helped with trays, speaking kind words to all those who had eaten. We were happy to take the trays of homeless men who were finishing up their casserole, bread, fruit and water lunch. St. John’s served 335 people in 60 minutes in a room that seated only 64 at capacity. This is done every day with all donated foods from area churches and businesses. Efficient yet caring, the homeless have pitchers of water at their tables which are constantly refilled by server volunteers and people to take their trays as they finish. There was a die cut black and white painting called “Christ in the Bread Line” on one wall. It felt like we valued and served all people there with kindness, love and respect that Christ would expect from us.

Anna Kate was our team’s (team “Mad Croc”) Center for Student Mission host this week at mission sites. Anna was great, and also a kindred spirit of the left instead of right turn syndrome. I call it directionally challenged, of which I am a card-caring member. The good news is that we didn’t get lost in ‘bad’ neighborhoods. That was impossible! Anna’s sense of humor and ability to connect us with those at each site was a true blessing. It reminded me that building relationships between unlike people is a very important part of connecting with all of God’s people. Anna reminded me of this part of mission. All relationships are key where we serve. Always.

So slowly, I begin to ‘plug’ in again, but perhaps more selectively. Perhaps more deliberately. I will not engage in the same ways. I holding the true notes of this experience alive, pure, and unfettered by too much noise.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. Psalms 40:1-5

one dollar for herman and help the homeless

2008-05-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

Every small thing counts, even that one dollar bill in your pocket or wallet.

I found this through the Ordinary Radicals site. It's about a way that one dollar and a few others can help one homeless man named Herman.

Most of you reading this have had encounters with the homeless. I encourage you to tell your stories at the end of the this blog. I have encountered homeless in my life. In fact, since going on youth urban ministry trips through CSM as well as reading books like, "In the Gutter" by Craig Gross, "Under the Overpass" by Mike Yankoski and "Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne, I see more homeless people every day. In fact, I look for them.

Often we struggle with what is the best way to help the homeless. We struggle with our own assumptions and prejudices about why people are homeless. Often these struggles leave us frozen in place instead of moving into some sort of action. Any action, my friends is action. You know Jesus would not hesitate, and neither should we.

Here is your opportunity to skip that soda or cheap hamburger at McDonald's and collectively pool our dollars to help Herman. Read about his story and who is helping him with this money. Then act. They encourage you to only send a dollar and pass the suggestion on to another.

He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes
and has them inherit a throne of honor.
"For the foundations of the earth are the LORD's;
upon them he has set the world. 1 Samuel 2:8

Licking the envelope as I type this (okay, maybe not simultaneously!)

Deana

burned

2008-05-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

There are many types of burns. There are sunburns, of which my daughter had a small taste of this past Memorial Day weekend. These sunburns hangout for a bit, rearing their angry red after the sun sets. They can be soothed by aloe and other such potions, but in most cases, the ‘sunburn wearer’ must endure through the heat and uncomfortable feeling of clothes for a few days. Sometimes sunburns blister and peel. Okay, most times they do, revealing new skin below which is less pink and sore, putting back to right our epidermal layer.

Burn is a name of an Usher song and also what the KKK did to crosses in the south. We burn trash, CDs and DVDS. We burn food and ourselves when cooking it. Bonfires burn for homecomings and hayrides. We burn with desire in our hearts and well as get heart burn, which is rather unpleasant in the second case . . . and can also be so in the first case, depending on where we are placing our affection. There are burn institutes and an album by Deep Purple, their 8th called Burn. We burn in ‘disco infernos.’ Burns is also then name of the conniving nuclear plant in The Simpsons and at the other end of the spectrum, my ohana, Jamie’s, old last name, now replaced with a cooler one by marriage about a year ago now.

When I was younger, the phrase, “You got burned!” was very popular. It was a reference to an insult, usually said in the company of others to put them down, to lower them in some way in the face of others listening. Sometimes this phrase was shorted to just, “BURN!” Sometimes these were followed by quick or often no so quick and witty responses to the challenger by the ‘burnie’.

In today’s technically joined world, burns or insults of that nature seem to be private or even public but now at the speed of light. An email here and there sometimes alone or to a group of others puts in writing what was in the past a passing comment. Similarly, blogs are out for everyone to see and often comment on based on the claims made by those ‘burning others’. Burns in these cases are often emails or blogged more in haste than when I was growing up. But are these as easy to forgive? In person, things can be resolved with immediate feedback or comment, so I guess it depends on the burn. And I must admit, I’ve been burned quite a few times since March in this arena. I now have a distinct different view of these types of ‘fired off’ communications.

This experience has lead me to a book I recently finished called, Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy by Donald Kraybill (and others). In it, Kraybill talks of the Nickel Mines schoolhouse tragedy and the Amish ability to forgive the gunman. The author explores why the Amish forgave so quickly. This is deeply rooted in their culture and taught from a very early age. What I found important about the book is not this reference to forgiveness and grace, but the explanation of the differences between forgiveness and reconciliation. These are two things that are often intertwined, but as Kraybill notes, are not necessarily inclusively related. Often people think that forgiven REQUIRES the act of reconciliation, yet it is noted that ne can forgive without reconciliation. Here are the different definitions:

Forgive: is the mental and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution

Reconcile: to compose or settle and bring into mutual harmony through the reestablishment of trust within both parties and the recognition of a wronged party.
Forgiveness is the beginning and is essential to discipleship.

“Their (the Amish) belief is that they should immediately forgive anyone who harms them is in stark contrast to popular ideas.” (Kraybill)

The Amish understand that discipleship means the single-minded attempt to live in a way that as closely follows Christ's example as is humanly possible. This includes what the Christ taught in the Lord’s Prayer, to forgive others are we are forgiven. While many mainstream Christians may see forgiveness as the end of a long emotional process, the Amish believe it's the start. They understand that they may feel angry and depressed, but they do not believe they should let painful feelings dictate their conduct toward others. In other words, to forgive is to move on and not seek out retaliation and not to set apart others due to their transgressions or offences. The book also clarifies for me what forgiveness is not.

* Forgiveness is not easy
* Forgiveness does NOT mean the victim forgets or that the offender cannot be punished.
* Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation; it is the start of it.
* A person can forgive another but not be reconciled.
* Reconciliation only takes place if the offender repents.

“Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord” Romans 12:19.

“Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done” 2 Timothy 4:14.

It is hard to be wronged. Yes, it is hard to forgive, too, but as a disciple of Christ, I must. The email burn I experienced earlier this year has been soothed with aloe and wrapped in the act of forgiveness. I understand the reconciliation takes time and true repentance for the wrong. I cannot retaliate. I cannot force repentance. Most of all, I cannot exact revenge or expect God to exact in the way I perceive it. In addition, I must treat these persons with kindness and not hold it against them. This rest I must leave in God’s hands. The fact that I am finally writing about this is a good step that makes me believe God is already working. There’s hope in that as my new skin emerges after the burn.

My God, free me from the grip of Wicked, from the clutch of Bad and Bully. You keep me going when times are tough— my bedrock, God, since my childhood. Psalm 71: 5 (The Message)

deliverance

2008-05-22T11:52:00.000-07:00

I liked writing random thoughts so well last week, I thought I’d do another. These are grouped under the lyrics and themes of “Deliver Me” by the David Crowder Band. The lyrics for the song are bolded. I’ve been listening to the version Kev and I did a couple of Sundays ago over and over this week.

Scripture I am chewing on and sorta shows where my mind and heart are at this week:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. - Isaiah 43:2-2

“Deliver me out of the sadness”

The numbers are staggering. The suffering, immense. . .“

The confirmed number of dead rose nearly 10,000 from the day before to 51,151, Cabinet spokesman Guo Weimin told a news conference. Another 29,328 people remained missing and nearly 300,000 were hurt in the May 12 quake centered in Sichuan
province, he said.

The disaster left 5 million people homeless and leveled more than 80 percent of the buildings in some remote towns and villages near the epicenter. In bigger cities entire apartment blocks collapsed or are now too dangerous to live in because of damage and worries about aftershocks.” Yahoo
News

In the news Wednesday: "The secretary general of the United Nations is heading to Myanmar in an effort to step up relief efforts for survivors of Cyclone Nargis." Please God, help us to help them.

“Deliver me from all the madness”
“We do not have a money problem in America. We have a values and priorities problem.” Marian Wright Edelman

Anyone want a really nice cat named Clarence?* He needs special food, but is very lovey. Of course, he has the ability to vomit randomly throughout a carpeted room in no time flat. Some may even call that a talent. We just call it an unholy mess. Gross. * Note: No, we are not giving Clarence away, although the thought crossed my mind Tuesday, the day of the totally disgusting ‘occurrence.’

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” Martin Luther King, Jr

“Deliver me courage to guide me”
What should we be ‘spending’ our refund checks on? Erase debt? The poor? The ravaged in China or Burma? The movies? Another few pair of shoes? Grocery hoarding? Clean water projects in 3rd world countries? A vacation?

Finished Jesus for President. Yet another Claiborne book that really tests preconceptions about service and Christianity. Pick it up. Read about our modern empire. This will book change you forever.

The danger is that we can begin to read the Bible through the eyes of
America rather than read America through the yes of the Bible. We just want
Jesus to be a good American.p194

“The government of the
United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian
religion.”-John Adams

From the litany of resistance: (Jesus for President Appendix)

One: From the arrogance of power
All: Deliver us
One: From the myth of redemptive violence
All: Deliver us
One: From the tyranny of greed
All: Deliver us
One: From the ugliness of racism
All: Deliver us
One: From the cancer of hatred
All: Deliver us
One: From the seduction of wealth
All: Deliver us
One: From the addiction of control
All: Deliver us
One: From the idolatry of nationalism
All: Deliver us
One: From the paralysis of cynicism
All: Deliver us
One: From the violence of apathy
All: Deliver us
One: From the ghettos of poverty
All: Deliver us
One: From the ghettos of wealth
All: Deliver us
One: From a lack of imagination
All: Deliver us
One: Deliver us, O God

“Deliver me Your strength inside me”

There’s nothing like driving with the windows down, driving to work and drinking coffee. Okay, I lied, take the driving to work part out of that statement and, it would be even better.

Rocket Dog, my new bowling ball, you let me down this week. Whereas the week before we were on fire, the pendulum swung back to the other extreme for Rocket Dog and me. It was truly embarrassing to bowl less than 100 with your own equipment. Seriously folks, totally embarrassing.

On the horizon is a 3 day weekend. I can’t wait. I need this.

Finished: The Gutter: Where Life is Meant to be lived by Craig Gross
Guess what? No matter where you live, there are gutters. Gutters are physical places. The are also addictions, selfishness, pride, loneliness, the ability not to forgive….we all have secret dark places. Jesus dwelled in the gutters throughout the gospel. . .and today. Craig Gross is a pastor in his 20’s who founded Fireproof Ministries as a way to train and disciple Christian youth, and XXXchurch.com, to help Christians break addiction to pornography. Guess what? God loves those who make porn. Get your mind around that.

“We must not allow ourselves to become like the system we oppose.” Bishop Desmond Tutu (Short bio of Tutu)

“CHORUS:
All of my life
I've been in hiding
Wishing there was someone just like You
Now that You're here
Now that I've found You
I know that You're the One to pull me through”

Prince Caspian was awesome. Aslan is back! Lessons for the kings, queens and princes (and us all) in the movie: 1) You can’t do it yourself 2) You don’t need any proof of Jesus or God to have faith 3) Motivation through hatred is never the way, although the temptation is immense and alluring. 4) Righteous honor pleases God. God hates honor for power. See it. You will not be disappointed.

“There is a war going on for your mind. We are the insurgents” – Flobots lyrics

“Deliver me loving and caring
Deliver me giving and sharing
Deliver me this cross that I'm bearing
Oh, deliver me”

I’ve been developing a youth curriculum for Institute. It’s called, “iStand for God’s Justice & Mercy(There’s war going on for your mind)” If it is accepted, it includes part IJM, part Flobots, part Invisible Children, Part Darfur Now and some killer quotes. Also wall drawing, collages and letters sent to students after the class they write about what they want to do next. LEARN about it, DO something to help. TELL others. Love your neighbors everywhere.

“Jesus, Jesus how I trust You How I've proved You o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus
Deliver me”

Planted years-old seeds we found in the garage hiding in stacks of old papers. Not sure how they got there, but thought we’d throw them into our clay-pot soil. How’s that for planting seeds of faith?

Practical Justice: Living Off-Center in a Self-Centered World by Kevin Blue
Right thinking. Right action. Just living. God calls us to step up and get involved. More on this later.

“Come and pull me through Come pull me through”

Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies.Do
not give me up to the will of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen
against me,and they are breathing out violence. Psalm 27:11-14

“Civilians throughout Sudan face new peril as the peace agreement that ended the two decade war in southern Sudan seems increasingly fragile and new violence in Darfur appears imminent. The United States and the international community should take immediate steps to halt the fighting in the south and deter al-Bashir’s planned assault on Darfur.”

“When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do”
Surely We Can Change by the David Crowder Band

“Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all,
thou shalt not be a bystander.” The Holocaust Museum

What have you done to help alleviate suffering or draw attention to the Darfuri people? Are you a bystander?

so much pain
we don’t know how to be but angry
feel infected like we got gangrene please dont let anybody try to change me ..
me just me.
in a sea full of faces..
full of races’
some laugh
some salivate
whats in your alley recycling bins or bullet casings
its not equal its not fair
we’re different people but we’re not scared
we ain’t never scared to pave a new path
make a new street
build a new bridge
hey can you see by the dawns early light
free slaves runnin
songs words weren’t right now a new days comin
if you stay stuntin while the many are handsome your soul stays alive
but they want it for ransom
the bass drummin is the anthem we step to the heart beats of our granddaughters and grandsons
(chorus)
and rise together
we rise together
we rise
together
we rise
together
we rise
together ….

Rise by the Flobots

random

2008-05-13T20:03:00.000-07:00

Random thoughts from my brain to yours this week . . . have at them.

"Jesus for President" is one of the coolest books. I am thankful for our study group. The discussion has been awesome. Quotes that got me thinking:

“It is hard to imagine a gospel that is more of an antitheses of Jesus’ gospel and the Beatitudes than what we hear today in the church: “Blessed are the rich”; “Blessed are the troops”; “We will have no mercy on the evildoers.”

So are we saying the United States of America is not a Christian nation? The United States is Christian inasmuch as it looks like Christ.p174

The more the early Christians reflected on the life and message of their rabbi-messiah, and the more they tried to live the way of the gospel, the harder they collided with the state and its hopes and dreams, militaries and markets. In fact, Christians in those first few hundred years were called atheists because they no longer believed in the Roman gospel; they no longer had any faith in the state as savior of the world. p141

[John] did not simply argue that various aspects of the market exploit this or that; rather he placed his concerns in light of a cosmological struggle between right and wrong…is is possible we can’t see the destructiveness of our economy not because we don’t know it’s terrible but because deep down, we feel that it’s necessary and that therefore it’s hopeless to criticize it?p153

Restaurant chips and salsa are the bane of my diet, or should I say lack thereof? Following a close second are those chocolate covered coffee beans Sylvia brought to study group last Sunday. Ack! Although, I was able to beat my whole team in three games straight later that night at bowling league. Secret weapon? Hmmm.

There simply needs to be more time in a day so I can catch up on books. Of course, if I’d stop acquiring them, then I might actually do it in 24. Yeah, right.

Change is good. Change can hurt. Change is really the only constant in life. How’s that for an oxymoron? Nothing like living in THAT tension.

Looking forward to the CSM mission trip to Philly. I’ve got a feeling this is will be life-changing service in less than a month for all of us. They always are, anyways.

How can people refuse aid to help all the suffering in Myanmar? How horrible to be thirsty and have children suffering like that. What makes people refuse aid? I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Church politics. Another oxymoron, but true in every place I’ve ever been. Even this one. Guess it’s time to read a few pep-talk letters to churches from Paul. I swear humans will never get that part right. Great googlymoogly.

I got a bowling ball for Mother’s Day. The color is called “Black Raspberry”

which is a combination of black, silver, deep red and sparkles. I’ve named it “Rocket Dog”. I have no idea why I named it that. Yes, I know it is a shoe brand, but the name is cool and I’m keeping it.

I am reading a book now call, “The Gutter: Where Life is Meant to be Lived,” by Craig Gross What are my gutters? Where am I afraid to go that Jesus is calling me to go? Am I listening and following? I really do live in the Suburb desert. Gross. Quotes from that book:

“When I accepted Christ as my saviour, I was lifted out of the gutter, but I was not made better than those who remained.”
---------------
“Don’t blame the dark for being dark. Blame the light for not shining on the dark.”
---------------

“While the Church at large is great at telling people to avoid their gutters, I’ve found that this approach just doesn’t work anymore. … Things have changed, and people don’t do things just because they’re told to do them or because those things are expected of them. So we as a Church have to change our approach and get dirty. Modern Christians must take risks and get out of their comfortable pews and classrooms and do something for God. If we don’t, who will?”

From the Save Darfur website today: “Reports indicate that the government is detaining, torturing and killing Darfuris in and around Khartoum, and that janjaweed militias have commenced attacks in North Darfur. The international community must demand an immediate end to atrocities, speed up deployment of peacekeepers, and make clear to all sides that there is no violent solution to this conflict.”

I can’t stop thinking about the people of Darfur. I wonder if I am doing enough to help them. I know I am not. I am not sure what else to do. I would go to Sudan if I could swing it in a minute. (Now that’s something I would have never said a year ago.)

Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander. Holocaust Museum, Washington, DC

The green of spring trees and plans, the chartreuse of nature is my favorite color followed closely by the orange-red of fall. Nobody does it better than God in nature. Nobody.

Goal: Debt-free in 5 years. Goal: Look for something else to do with my life in 5 years besides feed the corporate machine.

Storms of spring this year bring a rollercoaster of emotion. Betrayal. Bitterness. Joy. Love. Heartbreak. Depression. Happiness. Purpose. Shame. Wait a minute, it will change again. Funny thing about riding a rollercoaster is that if I stick my arms up in the air and scream, no on will really know if it is fear, pain or joy. I am not looking forward to Wednesday night.

I want to design a shirt from a saying I saw in Chicago. It said, “Social Justice isn’t Just for Rock Stars.”

UMCOR, UNICEF, Darfur….a dollar. All for world aid stand up and holler!

I bought a hand bag today that is so big that I could cut two holes in it and stick it on my head all the way and wear it like a mask, but it’s GREEN. The only thing that frightens me a little is that I can truly stick ¾ of my arm in it digging around. I wonder if clerks think I’m going to pull a rabbit out of it?

I owe both my sponsor children Stella in Tanzania and Betty in Uganda letters and pictures. I have to get that done by Saturday. Jeez, I used to be much better at writing letters before the internet and email.

Wayne finally went with Kevin to a pawn shop and picked up the most beautiful abalone shell inlaid blue guitar. I am jealous. I want to learn to play it too!

We must not allow ourselves to become like the system we oppose. Bishop Desmond Tutu

bovine reflections in boogie wonderland

2008-05-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

Friday afternoon I commuted home on the back roads. It has been a solid 2 months since I’ve taken this route. I’d forgotten its bucolic feel, the winding roads and open pastures and fields. I was lucky this time and didn’t hit the railroad crossing “in use”. I could see the rail car clear in the distance as I approached and the string of cars clear before It was my turn to cross. Good timing, Hartman, except I hit the highway light on ‘orange,’ so stopped for the full 3-4 minute cycle.

Thursday night our area had violent storms with intense winds, strong flooding rains and pea-sized hail. Perhaps this was the reason the air seemed so clean and clear, even with a strong wind. Stopped at a highway light, I saw the herd of Holstein cattle grazing in a field. The starkness of black and white cattle against the new greens of the spring landscape was striking, startling in fact. I took notice of the herd.

Often I can see cattle at a distance in a field along a highway or farm road. Rarely am I going slow enough or are the cattle close enough for me to take time to look at them. This time, I had the full span of a highway light to watch them.

Cows are immense, as big as my car. Okay, yes I do have a Aveo, and perhaps, pound for pound the car and cow are equal, but still, that cow looked way bigger than I remembered. Seeing them at a distance most of the time, I was amazed at their size. I’d also forgotten the sway of a cow’s head to and from as they walk. Back and fourth. . . back and forth. . .back and forth. . . .a cow crossed the field in rhythmic, choreographed steps.

A gust of wind whipped by, rocking the car in a disco-bump jiggle. Fur on the dancing Holstein ruffled, then went flat again. Other cattle grazed, ripping tender new-green grasses from the earth, grinding them with their jowls only to end up in one stomach or another. They left dark, wet footprints in their wake in the soggy ground. The entire herd, moving slowly as a large amoeba, across the landscape.

The light turned and I was off, making my way home.

I think that much of popular culture, our society in general, teaches us to be outline people. Outline meaning, just ‘give me the high level”, “executive summary’, “overview” or “ the 30 second news byte on yahoo or CNN” By keeping out of the weeds, by not ‘going down that rabbit hole” we miss much of the details in life, an astonish hive of activity everywhere.

Details at a stop light by a pasture on a back road.

Details in nature as it unfolds blows by on a windy day, rocking cars from tire to tire in a strange boogie dances.

Glimpses of the extraordinary in the everyday are the memories we keep, not the those big pictures and snippets of sound on the TV.

Take the long way home tomorrow. Take a blacktop or gravel road. Roll down your windows and listen to the dance of spring unfolding.

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Isaiah 55:12

sick

2008-04-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

Most would agree that being sick is no fun. Being sick away from home is even worse. This week I was both. . . away from home and sick. In a hotel, no familiar remedies at hand, no liquids at my fingertips to hydrate me. No familiar bed or extra covers. No comforts to help through the fevers and chills, no family, no friends, just me and the germs for company. It only takes an experience like this to force into the forefront the importance of home, friends and family during times like these, or any other sorts of stresses.

My home dilemma was solved on Friday when I flew back from North Carolina to Kansas. For me, it could not be soon enough.

Millions of others face this fact every day, but instead of a temporary displacement, their loss of home is permanent. Across Darfur and Chad, over 2.5 million Darfuris live in displacement camps, some away from family, friends or tribe due to war or death from war. Their lives uprooted, often with the clothes on their backs as their only possessions, fleeing from bullets often at any hour of the day and night. They fled from their homes, soon burned to the ground. Entire villages erased, leaving nothing but smoking piles of rubble.

Living in camps alone would be a hardship enough, but their means of sustaining their life now depends on organizations across the world struggling through red tape and rebels to get their shipments to the camps. Living in camps also encourages disease and sickness due to close proximity and limited medical supplies. And of course, there is always the threat of more attacks by the Janjaweed rebels and government forces attempting to exterminate these peoples. And so it continues.

What hope would you have?

What will happen to them next?

For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death. He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight. Psalm 72: 12-14

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 1 Corinthians 12:27

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:2-16

You are their best hope. Yes, you.

Visit www.savedarfur.org to learn more about how you can help right now.

If you are in the Kansas City area, you can learn more about this region by attending a movie and conversation around, “The Devil Came on Horseback” on Thursday at 7PM. 138 Main, Gardner, Kansas. Contact me if you can attend. We’d love to have you there.

sacred spaces and other environmental thoughts

2008-04-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

People have no peace in the world, but they have no disturbance when they are with God. -- Bernard of Claiveaux

For more than 3 years, I’ve been a part of a group of folks at FirstLight who create a sacred space for worship each Sunday. This effort takes people and time to transform a cafeteria into a place of worship. Tables are rearranged, chairs added. Signs for where things are place around the worship area, screens and sound equipment put together. Then the Ambiance team sets to work with table coverings, candles and the like, all to create a space for worshipping God. In the end, FirstLight the church plant, the mobile church, opens it doors to all seeking God.
There is a Celtic saying that heaven and earth are only three feet apart, but in the thin places that distance is even smaller. A thin place is where the veil that separates heaven and earth is lifted and one is able to receive a glimpse of the glory of God. A contemporary poet Sharlande Sledge gives this description:

“Thin places,” the Celts call this space,

Both seen and unseen,

Where the door between the world

And the next is cracked open for a moment

And the light is not all on the other side.

God shaped space.

Holy.

What the roadies do on Sunday is very important for worship, but it is not the full story. You see, sacred spaces exist outside what we can create for FirstLight. We often compartmentalize our spiritual practices, our spiritual existence by defining them by place or time. We come to ‘worship’ on Sundays and read Bibles in the morning. We have a ‘workplaces’ and an ‘family life’ all defined by spaces or locations and times in the day.

The kicker is that this perception is very far from the truth. The presence of God exists outside of the Sunday mornings, outside of Bible studies, outside of Prayer chapels. Family. friends and work all blend together in a myriad of everyday life events and our spiritual lives themselves are an outflow blanketing all our activities. God’s presence is in our homes, our workplaces, with friends, at the supermarket, in an open field, and driving to work.

The carpenter can do better work if he talks quietly to God about each task, as Jesus surely did when He was a carpenter. --- Frank Laubach

There is a saying that you get what you measure. I think this is the case with God as well, but should be rephrased. Where you look for God, you see God. Where you feel or see God at work . . . that is a sacred space.

Tuesday, April 22 is Earth Day. Take some time this week to find ways to improve God’s world. Take time, also, to thank God for the world around. After all, no matter where you are this sacred space is probably less than three feet from you right now.

Deana

He is your praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes. Deuteronomy 10: 21

drawing conclusions

2008-04-13T20:49:00.000-07:00

“No one shall be subjected to torture, or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment”- Universal Declaration of Human Rights

I revisited an old drawing of mine in a family Bible today. It was a story I wrote when I was 9 years old. It was a story about my favorite person and a drawing. The story said:

Language
September 27, 1973

Deana

My favorite person is grandpa arends. He doesn’t have much hair but a little hair in the back and brown eyes and glasses and I liked him taking me to the zoo. He is still alive.

On the back was a simple, quickly drawn picture of my grandpa and I walking. Many of my memories of my grandpa Roger were of walking. Sometimes it was the zoo, other times in the neighborhoods of Grimes, Iowa where we’d occasionally make it to Main Street, talking to friends on porches or in yards as we made our way through town.

Spending summer weeks at my mother’s parents conjures up other fond memories. There was no pool in town, so my grandma got out her old wash tub, filled it with water and I splashed in that. They grew raspberries (my favorite fruit to this day) and we enjoyed them with half and half or in a fresh pie. There were zoo trips and dinners out with other great aunts and uncles. Sometimes cousins visited and fun was had by all. I learned how to fry chicken and crochet. I showed my prowess around scrubbing out sinks after doing dishes. I helped bake bread and count the number of canned vegetables and jams in the basement. I learned how long it takes to polish a rock in a polisher. And yes, I did catch fireflies in on of grandma’s old mason jars for a nightlight, only to release them each morning to start again that night.

These memories are in stark contrast to the collection of drawings I looked at this week from children in IDP (Internally Displaced People) camps of refugees from the Darfur area of Sudan. Instead of pictures of family life and events of joy, children in these camps, witnesses to the ongoing genocide in that country, drew frightening and consistent pictures of homes being burned and people being attacked. For them, there is no peace. The drawings can be viewed in full here. Here is one of them.

The five hundred drawings collected by Waging Peace amount to a form of criminal evidence from silent witnesses. The killings, bombing and looting shown in the drawings directly contradict the Government of Sudan's version of events over the last four years of bloodshed. The pattern that emerges from these drawings corroborates what we know has been taking place in Darfur and shows a worryingly similar pattern of attacks developing in Eastern Chad.
There have been 5 years of conflict in this region. Now there are school age children who are living in camps that no nothing of peace. Over 1 million of Darfuri children know only a life of destruction, not of home.

This young boy was 8 when his village in Darfur was attacked in 2003 by
Janjaweed and Sudanese armed forces. He is now 12 and living in a refugee camp
in Eastern Chad.

In this drawing the attackers, on camel and hose backs and in armed
vehicles, are setting the houses on fire and shooting at civilians from all
corners (note how the bullets are crossing each others paths). The villagers are
also fighting back with spears and arrows, while the Janjaweed and Sudanese
forces are attacking them with machine guns.

The skin colour of the attackers is lighter than that of the victims, clearly denoting the ethnic character of the attacks.

The tribes of the Darfur region in Sudan are African, not Arab. As the Janjaweed rebels (backed by the Sudanese government) put it as they slaughter villages, “They are too black.” At the crux of this conflict we find race, not religion. More than 400,000 Black African people have been killed, and more than 2 million Black African people have been forced to leave their homes.

Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge. Deuteronomy 24:17

“Never again” was the rally cry after the Holocaust. “Never again” was shouted after the Rwandan genocide in the early 1990’s. Yet, it is happening again. A child is a child of God, no matter where they live, how they worship, or what color their skin happens to be. It’s time to LEARN about this conflict and genocide. DO something to help. TELL others.

Start here.

Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. Isaiah 1:17

blackbird

2008-04-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

Driving around town on errands this weekend, I had a Wayne and Garth moment. Some will recall the SNL skit with Dana Carvey and Mike Meyers and their skit, “Wayne’s World.” Their show on Cable 10, out of a basement in Aurora, Illinois sometimes included the “tolululu, tolululu, tolululu,” noises and the wavy fingers simulating going back in time.

What was the trigger for my cheesy flashback? The sound of the red wing black bird. The trill, noted as some websites as, “Cong-a-lee!” call of the male bird defending his territory. I was immediately transported back to a back road outside of Hudson, Iowa. I was on my way to visit my parents when, about 4 miles out of town, our car died and coasted to a stop. This was pre cell phone time, so after trying to rouse some help from Wayne my brother’s family at a local farmhouse, I decided to walk back to town. Our dog, Doogie was with me, but I had no leash, failing to pack it with all the sewing supplies I’d packed to quilt with on this trip. So, I fashioned a leash two extension cords and off we trotted in the summer afternoon.

In fast cars with air conditioning, rarely do we hear the sounds of the countryside, nor see the constant buzzing of activity. Dragonflies and bee hummed in the distance, occasionally passing close by to Doogie and I. About a mile into our walk, I heard the trills of red wing blackbirds as I approached marshy ditches by a small river. Perched on reeds spaced a several yards apart were males with their brightly colored yellow and red striped wings sounding the intruder alert. Somewhere in the foggy recesses of my brain I remember my mom telling me that this type of bird was territorial just as the first dive-bombed me. By the third or forth pass, growing ever so close, even the dog started cowering. In a flash of inspiration, I took the slack from the homemade dog leash, swinging it like a lasso above my head. Protected! We lassoed through territory after territory, making our way home.

“So that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the Lord has done this, that the Holy One of Israel has created it.” Isaiah 41:20

Often God gives us tools to resolve a problem. What I’ve come to realize is that usually instant fixes are not just plopped in our laps, ready to apply like a tonic or out-of the box functionality, an instant result without much work on our part to help along a situation. God is a God of creation. Creation of the world teeming with constant regeneration and creativity. Every spring comes with new growth and new life. Our lives are the very testament of learning, changing and renewing as we mature in Christ. Creativity is one of those skills we are taught that we 'have it' or we don't. I say, we all have it.
As God’s children, we are all give the ability to be creative. Perhaps creatively coming up with new approaches to solving problems? Or maybe it is planning events or teaching others? The key is to discover that our own creativity extends past talents we traditionally perceived as creative or ‘artistic’. Past the visual arts, the sports and musical arenas into other areas our lives. God gave us this creativity. We must actively seek out how to use it to benefit the kingdom here and now.

Time to look past traditional view of creativity. Time to remember we are all creative beings made in God’s image. Time to fly.

Blackbird

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly

Into the light of the dark black night.

Black bird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see

All your life

you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly,

Blackbird fly

Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise,oh

You were only waiting for this moment to arise, oh

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

By the Beatles

In Christ all things are possible,
Deana

flushed away

2008-03-30T19:05:00.000-07:00

Visionary science fiction television show writer Gene Roddenberry inspired our generation ideas for ‘furthering’ our society with auto-opening doors, laser beams, colored screens for computers, walkie-talkie communicators (cell phone and blue tooth), and a variety of medical tri-cordery thingies for scanning the body. We all benefit from these futuristic visions.

Often, society creates new inventions and processes that improve our lives in the name of progress. Take the dishwasher for instance. This tool is a way to get around dishpan hands, hours washing dishes, while also efficiently sterilizing our plates and forks using less water. Truly something that helps us and helps the environment. A win/win.

The same can not be said about auto-flush toilets, the bane of today’s restrooms.

I never gave these inventions much thought until the past couple of years when my daughter went from preschool to the new elementary school in town. The preschool was ‘old school’ with the standard flush handles on your basic institution toilets. No problem there. The new elementary school has auto flush toilets and auto towel dispensers. I guess in the designers mind, this is considered 21st century restroom design. And, perhaps, it also helps keep the bathrooms clean with less, er ‘waste’.

As for you, my flock. . . Is it not enough for you to feed on good pasture? Must you also trample the rest of your pasture with your feet? Is it not enough? Ezekiel 34:17-18

What is also did, unfortunately, was train my daughter not to flush toilets anymore. Now, home bathrooms with none of the auto-amenities are left un-flushed for the next family member. What concerns me even more is that is also teaches my daughter that messes she leaves in her wake are not her responsibility to clean up, that something or someone else will clean it up for her. And if these messes aren’t her responsibility, how will this affect her understanding of her role in how to restore our earthly environment? I wonder if we are teaching the next generation that using what is there and leaving the mess behind is an acceptable way to live.

The land is mine and you are but aliens and my tenants. Throughout the country that you hold as a possession, you must provide for the redemption of the land. Leviticus 25:23-24

In a country where consumerism is king, where we are given every opportunity to take and use and not encouraged return in kind, what is the best way to teach responsibility for resources, land and animals? Unfortunately the U.S. is #1 in trash producing countries, creating about 1,609 pounds of trash per person per year. From my standpoint, responsibility starts at home, how I live my life, how I teach my daughter to live. It’s one step, one recycle can, one commode flushed at a time. In any event, for the progress of convenience, comes a price. And we, my friends, have just begun to pay it.

I brought you into a fertile land to eat its fruit and rich produce. But you came and defiled my land and you made my inheritance detestable. Jeremiah 2:7

Take a step today. Do something to give back what you take from the earth.

In Christ, Deana

a new song

2008-03-20T22:47:00.000-07:00

“Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.” Sarah Ban Breathnach

The first time I pulled an all nighter I was in 6th grade. It was at a 12th birthday party sleep over for Sarah Terrell. After a night of too much junk food and the threat of frozen underwear for those who went to bed too early, most settled down to whisper in their sleeping bags by 4 AM. It was around 5:30 when the last of the stragglers finally fell asleep and I was alone with the dawn. I went out on to the steps in the cold April air, thrilled with the fact that I actually made it. I stayed up all night!

As the sun rose, I listened to birds, the first time that spring. In Iowa, Spring comes later than Kansas as it is a full growing zone colder. I heard the red-wing black birds and especially robins. Hearing robins and seeing them dot lawn landscapes has always meant a change of seasons to me. A change I eagerly wait for each year. This week, I heard and saw robins, highly appropriate since Spring began in the wee hours of March 20. Unlike Iowa, spring arrives on time in Kansas.

Each year, I am amazed at how much I missed birds chirping as I take the dogs out in the morning. Hearing them usher I the day with beautiful chirps and trills perks up not only my dogs’ ears, but mine as well. The birds sing as winter straggles out the back door leaving behind a trail of grayed snow, salty sidewalks and a brown, tired landscape. The birds sing in celebration as Spring bursts off the front porch, greening grasses, pushing snowdrops and hyacinths through cold mud, and bringing warmer winds to melt petrified parking lot ice heaps.

I must admit I am happy to see any season transition to the next. Each season plays a part in a cycle, a rhythm. Our God is a process God. From seed, sprout, growth, bud, flower and fruit, each part of a plant’s existence has a purpose, a time and is necessary in the natural progression of life. The same can be said about human development. From egg to embryo to infant and child, then adolescent and adult, each stage has a time and purpose. We continuously grow to the next state of being.

The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you." So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Matthew 28: 5-8

This coming Sunday is Easter, a time to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is also a good to examine where you are right now in your spiritual life. It is where you need to be right now, but isn’t where God expects you to stay. God never says, yes, you have grown in Christ’s likeness enough. Have you been in this season a long or short time? Are you moving towards the next steps of your journey? Where is God leading your heart next? What new song can you hear on the soft spring breezes? Where ever it may be, look to it with joy and anticipation.

And he departed from our sight that we might return to our heart, and there find Him. For He departed, and behold, He is here. ~St Augustine

He has risen.
He has risen, indeed.

In Christ,
Deana

Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples. Psalm 96: 1-3

wastelands and desert people gardeners

2008-03-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

Wasteland
1. Land that is desolate, barren, or ravaged.
2. A place, era, or aspect of life considered as lacking in spiritual, aesthetic, or other humanizing qualities; a vacuum: a cultural wasteland.

Wasteland is a word, when Googled, brings up 9,010,000 entries in .20 seconds. From bands to songs to poems to suburbs, our world is full of examples of wastelands. There is a song called Baba O’Reilly, often labeled, “Teenage Wasteland,” by the Who. Waste Land is one of T.S. Eliot’s most famous poems. It describes a journey of the human soul searching for redemption using a revolutionary style at that time. The Wasteland is a Celtic motif that ties the barrenness of a land with a curse that must be lifted by a hero. Wastelands shows up in Irish mythology and French Grail romances, and hints of it may be found in the Welsh stories as well. In the Bible, wastelands and deserts surround communities. Clearly wastelands have been around and are here to stay.

There are many stories in the Bible which show wastelands (deserts) as places of testing. The people of Israel wandered 40 years in the desert to learn faithfulness to God. John the Baptist was the voice calling from the desert of the coming Christ. Jesus was tested for 40 days in the desert by Satan to grasp the reigns of empire and spiritual power. Wastelands are testing and proving grounds.

I am being tested.

I am a desert dweller in just on the perimeter of a metro area in a community which is far from the intense life of inner city Kansas. In fact, many of the metro areas I’ve traveled through or lived in over my lifetime have a pattern of weaker inner cities (services, money, etc.) surrounded by more affluent neighborhoods and communities or ‘burbs with less visible poverty. Yes, all cities have poverty, but it seems to concentrate in the rundown areas of the inner city cores in a seemingly downward spiral of despair. The result of this isolation is a wasteland of comfort and affluence is a life cut off from people in the city, numbing my ability to recognize need, want, to the stories of the homeless. Where I live feeds the ‘us’ vs. ‘them’ paradigm through geographic separation, commuting between suburbs to work, and the lack of constant visual reminders of suffering.

This is what the Lord says: "For three sins of Judah, even for four, I will not turn back my wrath. Because they have rejected the law of the Lord and have not kept his decrees, because they have been led astray by false gods, the gods their ancestors followed, I will send fire upon Judah that will consume the fortresses of Jerusalem." This is what the Lord says: "For three sins of Israel, even for four, I will not turn back my wrath. They sell the righteous for silver, and the needy for a pair of sandals. They trample on the heads of the poor as upon the dust of the ground and deny justice to the oppressed. Amos 2:4-7

I am being tested not to ignore the cry of the poor and oppressed. Tested to look past the Applebee’s and Chili’s, the Mall, the Wal-Marts and other strip mall, cookie cutter establishments that dot the suburbs to the cry of the poor and needy in the town where I live. Tested to look deeper into what I consume and ask, “Who made this? Were the people who made these garments treated with respect or in a sweatshop? Do I need another one of these things.” More and more I think,” Should it be this way? For the last question, the answer is a definite no. I do not have all the answers to these questions, but I keep searching and keep asking more questions. Iin the meantime, I look for more ways to love my neighbors, wherever they live.

Jesus did not think that only he sowed the Word of God. He was constantly sending people away, telling them also to sow the seed of the kingdom . . . a distracting, violent, and tempting world, keep sowing the seeds of love. Sow it everywhere, even when Herod cuts it down, and even when the world’s riches try to choke it.

Sowers must not become discouraged easily. The disciples were constantly butting up against Jesus’ thoughts about the way God’s reign comes on earth. ‘It will never work that way!’ you can hear the disciples thinking at almost every encounter. They thought the kingdom would come quickly like the apocalypse, as almost all revolutionaries from Marx to Guevara have insisted. But Jesus’ revolutionary patience claimed that another kingdom is coming—one that you can participate in but cannot build; a seed you can plant and water but cannot make grow. You can’t drag the kingdom of God into the world. But you can’t stop sowing the seeds either. Sow them everywhere." “Jesus for President,” (Claiborne and Haw)

I leave you with these lyrics from the ‘80’s band Tears for Fears. The still ring true after their release in 1989, almost 20 years ago. Something to ponder as you ask your own questions and search for answers.

Seeds of Love By Tears for Fears

High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man
And the lovetrain rides from coast to coast
D.j.s the man we love the most
Could you be, could you be squeaky clean
And smash any hope of democracry ?
As the headline says youre free to choose
Theres egg on your face and mud on your shoes
One of these days theyre gonna call it the blues

And anything is possible when youre sowing the seeds of love
Anything is possible - sowing the seeds of love

I spy tears in thier eyes
They look to the skies for some kind of divine intervention
Food goes to waste !
So nice to eat, so nice to taste
Politician grannie with your high ideals
Have you no idea how the majority feels ?
So without love and a promise land
Were fools to the rules of a goverment plan
Kick out the style ! bring back the jam !

Anything...
Sowing the seeds
The birds and the bees
My girlfriend and me in love

Feel the pain
Talk about it
If you’re a worried man - then shout about it
Open hearts - feel about it Open minds - think about it
Everyone - read about it Everyone - scream about it !
Everyone, Everyone - read about it, read about it
Read in the books in the crannies and the nooks there are books to read
(Chorus 0

(mr. england sowing the seeds of love)

Time to eat all your words
Swallow your pride
Open your eyes

High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man
And the love train rides from coast to coast
Every minute of every hour - I love a sunflower
And I believe in love power, love power, love power !!!

Sowing the seeds
An end to need
And the politics of greed
With love

change

2008-03-05T13:53:00.000-08:00

Most of us can remember times or places when significant changes happen in our lives. Perhaps these events are graduation, marriage, the birth of a baby, a baptism or confirmation, the death of someone we hold dear. All these are significant events with traditions, ceremonies and acknowledgement that things are changing. Often I’ve noticed this is not often the case in spiritual or discipleship growth, at least not for me. These changes seem more subtle, often persistent until I yield and turn to another direction or another pathway. Such is the case now as I transition to something different.

Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. Isaiah 1: 17

This change began on a mission trip to Houston almost 2 years ago. A small but mighty contingent of FirstLighters (Pastors Steven and Ben, 4 young women and myself) went to serve through the CSM (Center for Student Mission) for a week. This was my first week-long endeavor into Mission and I was nervous. This was unknown territory to the urban core and I had no idea what it would be like or how I should act, but something (God) told me I HAD to go. And so after a few weeks of hemming and hawing, I raised my hand to become an adult leader on the trip.

God presides in the great assembly; he gives judgment among the "gods": "How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked? Selah Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. Psalms 82:1-4

It was mind-blowing, wholly educational and way, way different than I imagined. It honestly changed my life. You see, I can trace back the decision I made to go to Houston as the starting point for where I believe God wants me to go now.

For the past 6 months I've considered moving my service from Worship to the Glocal Missions area of FirstLight with Carol Zimmerman and the rest of the team. This has been influence by books I've read, activities I've participated in and even what others have said to me. Most importantly, through prayer/talking with and listening to God, this decision has been mulled over and over. Rest assured, this decision has not been made on impulse.

There is, as it should be, always a need for more leadership in Missions. Indeed, I also have a growing passion in this area that can benefit God's Kingdom, to rally around those who are poor, oppressed and ignored on the fringes of society and world. I really feel that God wants me to serve here.

I will be transitioning at the end of March. You may still see me helping with setup or tear down or singing with the band as continued service in FirstLight ministries, but Ambiance and related duties will be taken over by Jamie Norris and others within the Worship Team. I have learned so much from these 3 years on the Worship team and I will miss it. Yet, I feel that God is calling me to do this. And what I’ve discovered is that gentle persistent voice of change is very hard to ignore.

Woe to those who make unjust laws, to those who issue oppressive decrees, to deprive the poor of their rights and withhold justice from the oppressed of my people, making widows their prey and robbing the fatherless. 3 Isaiah 10:1-3

In Christ we all serve,
Deana

"The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have too much...it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt

first ten and the kingdom

2008-02-27T12:42:00.000-08:00

I subscribe to the David Crowder blog on Xanga. This week, a blog asked this of me:

Grab your preferred digital media player and push play in shuffle mode. Report here in the comments the first 10 tunes that pop up. Cheating is prohibited, as it would be in poor taste. This will decide whether you are a likable person or not, at least that’s what my friend Jack told me. When he said this, the part about being a likable person, I panicked, but it turned out he was kidding. Sort of. He did seem genuinely bothered by the two Bee Gees tunes though. I mean, 2 out of 10! That’s quite a lot of Bee Gees really, but what I’m trying to say is don’t cheat.

So I grabbed my MP3 player, and, pressed “Shuffle”. Let me tell you the temptation to cheat is very hard to ignore. I mean, this list was supposed to define in 10 songs my musical profile, my musical TASTE. :-0 Here was mine.

* Stay (Wasting Time) by Dave Matthews Band / Live at Folsom Field
* Fireworks by Moby / 18
* Never Finish By Leigh Nash / Blue on Blue
* Go-Go Gadget Gospel by Gnarls Barkley / St. Elsewhere
* One Day by KT Tunstall / KT Tunstall’s Acoustic
* Breathe Me By Sia / Colour the Small One
* November by Duncan Sheik / Duncan Sheik
* One Chance by Modest Mouse / Good News for People Who Love Bad News
* #41 by Dave Matthews Band / Live at Radio City
* Gratitude by India Arie / Voyage to India

Hmmm. In general, my 10 songs were an eclectic collection, no Bee Gees or other interesting randomness on the list. No embarrassing “Frankie Goes to Hollywood” or other 80’s misfit reared its ugly head. Of course, what I’ve loaded or bought and put on my MP3 is not my entire musical taste history, I must confess. I’ve had my, er, moments of weakness. Stuff I really can’t bear to listen to anymore and I wouldn’t load onto my MP3 in the first place. My musical ear has progressed and changed throughout my life. Rarely do I delve into the past in music to ‘relive’ my wonder years or high school existence. A few college tunes (from Springsteen, Joel, Madonna, Modern English or Soft Cell) occasionally peek out from behind the curtain of the past. But I digress.

What this seemingly meaningless exercise brought to light is our culture’s obsession with the perception of who we are based on what we consume. These perceptions come in many forms. The most obvious are how we dress, what we look like, who we hang out with, where we spend our free time, where we live, what our house looks like, what music we listen to, what kind of car we drive, and the list goes on and on. I do confess to utilizing one or other of these to assess, judge and react to people in particular situations. Which in retrospect is not so cool (that’s putting it rather mildly). This leads me to ask the question, “Does God care about my musical tastes? The label in my clothes? The coffee brand I drink? Of course I can’t speak for God, but based on what I understand about the Divine, I’d have o say. . .well, no.

The kingdom of God is not based on branding or human perception of acceptable practices. The kingdom of God is God’s vision, not ours. Jesus himself had the best ‘in’ on this vision. As followers of Jesus, we must emulate this vision through what we read in the Bible and practice in our lives. In the 4 translations of the Bible, there are more than 140 Kingdom references in the New Testament. Here are two to ponder:

"I'm baptizing you here in the river, turning your old life in for a kingdom life. The real action comes next: The main character in this drama - compared to him I'm a mere stagehand - will ignite the kingdom life within you, a fire within you, the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out. Matthew 3:11 The Message

"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you. --Matthew 5:48 The Message

Change from the inside out. Grow up. Listen to the fire that God puts in your heart. Live generously and graciously towards others they way God does for you. A little less surface, a little more grace. I’d say that’s part of the kingdom’s top ten, and those never go out of fashion.

For those who live according to the world are concerned with the things of the world, but those who live according to the kingdom of God with the things of the kingdom of God. The concern of the world is death, but the concern of the kingdom of God is life and peace. For the concern of the world is hostility toward God; it does not submit to the law of God, nor can it; and those who are of the world cannot please God. -- Romans 8:5-9

Trying to live for the kingdom and not for what I consume,
Deana

hat

2008-02-22T07:38:00.000-08:00

I have this hat. Or, rather, I should say I used to have it. My daughter Kayla has confiscated it this winter, so it’s technically been passed down to her now.

This hat has a history. It was worn over many Iowa winters of brutal cold, below zero temps before wind chills were even figured into the temperatures. I wore it for years, keeping my ears and head very warm. From middle school (then called Junior High) through college, I wore it. The hat is simple and white with a turned up band and a multicolored large pompom at the crown. A gift made by my grandma Gladys eons ago. She called it a ‘stocking cap’.

This hat is one of memorabilia of made items from Grandma Gladys I still have, even though she has been gone well over 20 years. A guru in the fiber arts, I especially identify with her as I am a quilter. More importantly, the fact that I can hold on to this lone winter item is indeed a mystery. You see, I have a notorious mitten / outer-winter-wear history.

As a child, no string, clip, threat, shame or other fashioned attachable could keep both my mittens on my little person. Often I’d lose one somewhere between the walk from school to home or playing outside with a friend or shopping with Mom. This was usually not discovered until the next morning as I got ready for school My mitten losing talent exasperated my mother into putting any two mittens on my hands, in part to teach me a lesson in responsible mitten management. I imagine the thought of two different mittens might have motivated some children to be more careful about them, but I guess the ‘stylin,’ or perhaps the novelty of being that unique did not have the desired effect. In any event, I still constantly lost mittens.

But not that hat. That handmade, simple hat has stuck with me for literally decades. The hat has traveled with me through living on Navy bases in Hawaii and California, a total of 10 household moves since marriage. This may be deemed notable by some, mostly likely a miracle by my mother.

You’ve probably had certain items in your life that are important. Perhaps it is a quilt, an old diary, a photograph or other reminder of what was from or made by someone you love. These items stir up memories, reminding us of treasured relationships in the past as well as the present. Perhaps it isn’t an item but a story, a memory of an event that you hold dear, that you hold important?

Jesus teaches us that God finds certain aspects of our life of discipleship are very important. What does Jesus say is important for us to hold on to? Here is my understanding:

* God above all else (whether religion, government, all other aspects of our lives)
* Obedience to God
* Kingdom on earth is as important as getting into the heaven
* Grace extended as grace is received
* Love on another
* Caring for the poor in body and spirit, for the oppressed and marginalized
* Prayer
* The heart for God over the head for God

These are important practices for me as I continue my discipleship journey. Jesus talks about following in his wake. Searching on the term, I found 21 references in the New Testament, NIV for “Follow me”. Here are a few of these.

* "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will send you out to fish for people." Matthew 4:19 Follow me and learn how to teach others about the good news, and then teach the good news.

* As he walked along, he saw Levi son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," Jesus told him, and Levi got up and followed him. Mark 2:14 Follow me and I will teach you about the value of all peoples.

* Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." Mark 10:21 Follow me, and I will teach you about what is valued more than possessions and money.

* Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. John 12:26 To follow me, you must serve. Jesus is a servant, we must be servants.

* He said to another man, "Follow me." But he replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God." Luke 9: 59-60 No earthly commitment, no activities supersede what God thinks is important. Follow me and learn that God’s Kingdom is the first priority.

I think the reason I hold on to this old crochet hat is the memory of my grandma, to me this is a tangible look into the past, a valuable part of who I am today. As a “follower” of Jesus, the different hats we wear as disciples are valuable and important for spiritual growth and obedience to God. All call us to follow Jesus, for learning and growing from the heart for God’s Kingdom above all else.

Following the leader,
Deana

God does not want hearers and repeaters of words, but doers and followers who exercise themselves in the faith that worketh by love. -- Martin Luther, a 16th century reformer, A Compend of Luther's Theology.

do-overs

2008-02-16T03:16:00.000-08:00

I’m a Bill Murray fan. From Caddyshack to SNL to Stripes, I get kick out of his attitude and roles. So when Groundhog Day came out in 1993, I was hooked. This year, I was able to watch the movie ON Groundhog day with others who enjoy the movie as well. This is a rare occurrence, happening sporadically over the years.

In the film, Murray plays Phil Connors, an egocentric Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania TV weatherman who, during a hated assignment covering the annual Groundhog Day event (February 2) in Punxsutawney, finds himself repeating the same day over and over again. After indulging in all manner of hedonistic pursuits, he begins to reexamine his life and priorities.

Phil: Do you ever have deja vu Mrs. Lancaster?
Mrs. Lancaster: I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen.

Though the film does not specify the number of repetitions, there is enough time for Connors to learn many complex skills, such as how to play jazz piano, speak French, sculpt ice, and memorize the life story of almost everyone in town. He also masters the art of flipping playing cards into an upturned hat, which he offhandedly suggests takes six months (director Ramis has stated Phil repeats the day for about 10 years, noting that it would take that long to become as proficient on the piano as Connors does from daily lessons, though the original script had February 2 repeating for ten thousand years.)

Groundhog Day is a tale of self-improvement, where Phil tries for all his might to gain his own selfish ideals of what the ultimate would be in life, love and the pursuit of happiness. What Phil realizes is what his ideal is, what he thinks society thinks is success was not the grand plan. He sees what part of the day he can affect and where he cannot. And in the end, he cannot save all people, but some he can. He cannot decide he way he will die. He cannot control all the people he meets. He cannot win love through manipulation. Phil ultimately learns freedom is not doing what you want or making yourself some better form of you, but belonging to someone who truly loves you.

I wonder if we would take the opportunity to do that many do-overs for one day? Phil had to relive one of his most hated days over and over until he got it right in life and love. Would you. . . could you do the same with any random day for, let’s say 10 years?

We do not have that luxury, or curse, depending on your viewpoint. Instead the question is, how can I turn a miserable day into a good day? Perhaps it’s to. . .

Pay attention and make good decisions.
Look to the needs of others over our own self gains.
Stop falling back on old patterns to seek approval.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2Corinthians 5:17

I think the biggest lesson I get from this movie is. . . we are all partly the culmination of our past experiences, BUT what we truly are is what we are now, in the moment and what we are in the next moment. God pulls us to this new state every moment of every day. Refreshing to know we are not made up of our past, but also where we are going now. . . and next.

I am thankful for do-overs every day. New days are new beginnings for us all. We responsible for using them

blemish

2008-02-07T07:48:00.000-08:00

I am teaching myself to eat normally. No, I’m not writing about dieting, more like food consumption. Actually, about blemishes. Go figure.

The online dictionary lists three definitions for blemish:
–verb: to destroy or diminish the perfection of: The book is blemished by those long,ineffective descriptions.

–noun: 1. a mark that detracts from appearance, as a pimple or a scar.
2. a defect or flaw; stain; blight: a blemish on his record.

I’m an oily-faced person, something which began in my teens and has lingered for decades. I remember being told that this would ‘pass’ as ‘I grow older’, which it hasn’t and won’t. My dad, after all, is in his 70’s and still has oily skin. And even though oilier skin means less wrinkly-crinklies of my current years, breakouts continue.

In most cases, the blemish appears, waves it’s ugly self, and except for a few rebels, retreats back into some layer of ‘dermis’. I’m currently struggling with one of those ‘rebels’ right now, the corner-of-the-mouth variety.

The principle of blemish healing is to let it be. In this case, not an option since I have to talk and eat. Yes, I can talk without aggravating it, but to eat? Ack! I come from a long line of food shovelers, meaning we are artists at the “food fork-stack” and the “spoon-mountain”. We have big mouths and we can pile it high. But every time I try to practice this old habit of eating, the corner of my mouth screams in protest.

There’s a lot to be said for moderation in all areas of our lives. Moderation, lessening of extremes we practice leads to better heath. Moderation in food, drink, spending, etc. is often the key, but loading my fork? I’ve pondered this thought over and over about food ‘utensil loading’ moderation at almost each meal. What I’ve realized is that this rebel blemish MAKES me slow down and think about what I’m doing. Root cause of a food shoveler may not be just habit of eating, but the great ‘time press’. Hurry through eating to get to the next thing, whether it be work or play. The corner of my mouth is saying, “Slow down, Hartman, quit rushing,” every time I eat. It’s actually quite indicative of my life. I’m a head-butt-multi-task personality type. Doing several things at once, rushing in, acting on instinct, and rash, I often get my self tangled up into what could have been avoided if I’d exercise a bit more restraint, a bit more . . . moderation?

Two version of the scripture use the word ‘moderation’ in Philippians 4:5.

NIV: Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
King James: Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.

Curiously, moderation does not show up in many versions, for this passage or for other scriptures for that matter. Instead another word, ‘gentleness,’ is used most often in the Old and New Testaments. The Greek word behind “moderation” does mean “gentle, patient, yielding. For all the moderation talk of Christianity today, the Bible talks more about gentleness. For instance:

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:29

. . . though we might have made demands as apostles of Christ. But we were gentle among you, like a nurse tenderly caring for her own children. 1Thessalonians 2:7

. . . to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show every courtesy to everyone. Titus 3:2

Other References of interest (you can look them up easily at http://www.crosswalk.com/ ): Deuteronomy 32:2, Deut. 28:54, Deut. 28:56, Jeremiah 11:19, Proverbs 15:4, 1Titus 3:3, 1Peter 2:18, 1Peter 3:4

Being gentle, in many ways, gets a bum rap this day and age. Modern society associates gentleness with weakness and getting run over by strong personalities. Strong is often associated with being violent and forceful, productive . . . truly the opposite of being gentle. How can a person who follows Jesus be gentle, yet be strong in faith? Are we just supposed to let people walk all over our meek selves? How can we defend those who cannot defend themselves ‘gently’? There are clues listed in the synonyms and examples of gentleness that may bring to light what the Bible is talking about.

Gentle—Synonyms clement, peaceful, pacific, soothing; tender, humane, lenient, merciful. Gentle, meek, mild refer to an absence of bad temper or belligerence. Gentle has reference esp. to disposition and behavior, and often suggests a deliberate or voluntary kindness or forbearance in dealing with others.

Gentleness means, “a deliberate or voluntary kindness or forbearance in dealing with others,” in all things, whether justice, kindness or any other communication between people. It gives new meaning to the phrase “gentle” Jesus, doesn’t it?

As for my own blemishes, perhaps a change in my utensil-loading eating habit is in order. And perhaps in my treatment of other people as well. Habits to improve upon anyway as we start Lent this week, learning to be gentle when opening my mouth on all occasions.

a letter from Africa

2008-01-30T20:50:00.000-08:00

“We try and make the world safe, knowing that the world will never be safe as long as millions live in poverty so a few can live as they wish.” Shane Claiborne

At the end of last year, I sent my sponsored children family gifts. These are monetary gifts of between $25 to $300 dollars per year used to help the sponsored child, in this case, Stela, and her family. Often these gifts are used to buy items such as new beds, livestock and food supplies. When the money is received, social workers at the center help them purchase items locally, also helping the economy.

I received a letter and drawing this week written after Stela received this gift and shared it with her brother, mother and father. This letter is over a month ago when Stela received the family gift. Time is different when communicating with Stela. I can instantly email her, I also hand write letters and send pictures and stickers or other flat gifts such as coloring pages to her. Letters from Stela are between 6 and 8 months apart due to customs, translations and basic letter travel. I’ve come to cherish these small glimpse into Stela’s world. A world with no internet café’s, cement sidewalks or box stores.

This letter was translated by one of the social workers at the KMT Kigurunyembe Student Center in Tanzania.

Dear Deana Hartman,

Receive much greetings from Stela. She says she hopes that you are fine. She is also fine. She says, she thanks you so much for the nice family gift which you sent her.

She says, she was able to buy a mattress, mosquito net, a pillow, rice, sugar, soap for washing and for bathing, a dress, blouse soda and water.

She says, she thanks you so much because she will now sleep in a good place and she will not get troubles with mosquitoes. She also thanks you for the nice letter and many stickers which you sent to her. She says, may God bless you for everything and may He give you good health always together with your family. She says, she wishes you a wonderful journey to visit your parents. She bids you goodbye for today and she hopes that one day you will see each other.

She asks you to receive her drawing she drew for you.

Your beloved,
Stela

For a couple less movies and dinners out, Stela was provided with much needed mosquito protection, a bed to sleep on, food stuffs, washing soap and clothes. Basics for a child seems a very good trade for entertainment spending money. And in the end, both Stela and I we were blessed

You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. 2 Corinthians 9 11-12

Thankful for letters from Africa, wondering if I will really meet Stela one day.

abide it, really

2008-01-24T21:46:00.000-08:00

Abide is a word not often used in today’s world, at least not in my secular, corporate circles. For me, it conjures up an image of a one-room school houses and Laura Ingalls Wilder books with phrases like, “Pa could not abide it,” said in a slight Midwestern twang, or maybe even a Souther accent. It would be paired with the archaic 'agreeance' or other unused words of other centuries. In general, although not thought of as a 25 cent or dollar word, abide is truly foreign to my standard vernacular.

When Steven talked about abiding in Christ at FirstLight a few weeks ago, I had to stop think and reflect on what that actually meant to me. . . what the scriptures are saying.

Often I will start these searches for understanding on crosswalk.com by reading other versions of the same passage, in this case, John 15:4. Here are four different Bible translations. Each helps me to understand “abide” a little more.

“Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me.” NRSV

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me”. NIV

"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can't bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can't bear fruit unless you are joined with me.” The Message

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful apart from me”. New Living Translation

From definitions there are several facets of abide as Jesus did:

· wait for— spending time waiting on God means not expect drive-thru service. It means not expecting our way, but God’s way. We must learn to wait for God to lead where we must follow.

· endure without yielding—it takes determination to crowd out the noise of everyday life and seek to experience the presence of God. It means having the discipline to make time for God, not fit God in.

· bear patiently—There are ups and downs to spiritual life and the it takes discipline in discipleship to continue even when we really don’t feel like it. I know patience is not my virtue, but for God to grant me patience, I must practice it when God gives me that opportunity. God will be made known on God’s time, not mine.

· accept without objection— Learning to discern what is God’s will. Learning to choose through our free will what is God’s way, without doubt, hostility or opposition. This means learning to turn away from our own desires to what God desires.

· remain stable or fixed in a state—To be constant on our quest for God

Most importantly, abiding is being in Christ instead ‘doing’. Doing in relation to discipleship includes many of the fruits talked we about including: reading the Bible, learning and growing in understanding of our faith, worshipping, praying, telling others about your spiritual journey, doing good works / helping others, etc. This isn’t just for the pastoral folks or theology students, this is all of us. The catch is our heart. If, for instance, I were to pursue these areas just because I was suppose to, or on our own strength, there would be no growth, no peace, for it is not us but Christ. We then would miss out in having an intimate relationship with Christ, making for instance, service works oriented instead of Christ oriented. We must be in Christ in all we do everyday. Without ceasing.

"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can't bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can't bear fruit unless you are joined with me.” John 5: 14 The Message

Jesus uses the term ‘abide’ (live in, remain in me) many times in the New Testament, 15 times in the NRSV version. Connected with the John scripture is the image of a fruit bearing vine, a vine which lives and grows through the cycle of seasons: Spring (starting anew), Summer (growing) , Fall (harvesting), and Winter (rest). It is an important aspect of learning to be a disciple, to remain in Christ in all we do, through all of life’s ebbs and flows.

Read Christ’s teachings. Pick a Gospel, the Good News of Christ and continue your journey.

Abide in Christ,
Deana

“Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me.” John 5: 14 NRSV

jesus lives next door

2008-01-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

I've spent this MLK holiday reading a book called, 'Justice in the 'Burbs' by Will and Lisa Samson as I nurse a bear of a cold. At each end of a three chapter section, there are meditations on the subject covered. This one was pretty powerful.

A Meditation by Claudia Mair Burney

Jesus lives next door. He's an eight-year-old girl and her three-year-old brother. The Son of Man looks like those starving Ethiopian children. He gets only breakfast and lunch at school, when he makes it. His mama is a crack addict. Nobody knows where his daddy is. I heard his mama lets her 'Johns' do things to him.

Poor King of Kings.

Jesus is two houses down and has 6 children. Now he's pregnant with the 7th. I don't' know if he hasn't figured out what birth control is or what, but how does he expect to feed all those babies on that salary? And you know with all those kids, the Lord of Lords can't work. That means hard-working taxpayers' money on Christ's food stamps!

He needs to get fixed.

The Lord is a crazy man-- a paranoid schizophrenic. If he doesn't take his medicine, he walks up and down the street, cussing and spitting on everybody he passes. He's homeless and nobody knows where is family is--if he's got one. Digs out of the trashcans for food. Somebody ought to get him off the streets.

Jesus is nothing but a nuisance.

I'm starting to see the Son of God everywhere I go. He's always crying or begging or looking pitiful. Why doesn't He pull himself up by his bootstraps? This is America! Makes me mad. He's ruining our neighborhood.

Somebody ought to do something about Him.

Somebody.

spoon

2008-01-16T21:52:00.000-08:00

Spoons conjure up many images for me. There is a current rock band called “Spoon,” and a 70’s band “Lovin’ Spoonfuls.” Dave Matthews has an beautiful song called Spoon, one of my favorites actually. The song features Alanis Morissette on background vocals and Béla Fleck on the banjo. It is on the album, “These Crowded Streets.” “Spoon” by Matthews talks of Christ and his crucifixion. Worth a listen or a lyrics read if you can get it.

Spoons are also used in parlor tricks, resting on the end of someone’s nose or bending without any apparent force. Spoons measure and stir in the kitchen, reclining on a special spoon rest during cooking. Spoons can keep a beat in the band. I’ve played spoons with a loved one. I’ve spoon fed babies food, but also spoon fed knowledge/training to colleagues on complicated subjects. There are spoon lures in fishing, and surprisingly, a Byzantine divine “Spoon Liturgy” used in Eastern Orthodox and Greek-Catholic churches.

Online, Wikipedia describes a spoon is a “utensil consisting of a small, shallow bowl at the end of a handle, used primarily for serving and eating liquid, or semi-liquid foods, and solid foods such as rice and cereal which cannot easily be lifted with a fork.

The spoon which has been garnering my attention lately as I open the silverware draw is a very old tea spoon. This is not a teaspoon as in set-the-table-please which cozies up to the butter knife on our table for meals. This tea spoon is for tea. It’s long handled, soft silver in color with a generous deep scoop and a very ‘revolutionary-Paul-Revere’ design feel to the handle end. And although I have several cheaper, newer tea spoons, this old, slightly beat-up piece of history is by far my favorite spoon.

When I left home to live on my own at college and then after marrying, my mom gave me some cooking tools and utensils went with me to start my own kitchen. These included some extra pots and pans, some corning ware, glasses and plates, a few cooking tools, and somehow this tea spoon. This spoon stirs up my nostalgia, a homesickness of sorts. I can’t remember if it was my Grandma Gladys’ spoon, but I associate it with her. And whenever I need a long handled spoon, I reach past the cheaper, newer tea spoons for this one. Not everything new is better.

I am a creature of change. My studio name is Chameleon Quilts Studio after all. I’ve noticed that it is my first instinct in most cases to change something, even start fresh and recreate it. It is part of my DNA. This can be a detriment to my own spiritual development as I am always looking for something new in books or articles about how to approach Christianity differently in order to grow. Instead, what I’ve found is a very large percentage of the books I read go back to the basics. What Jesus originally said and did in the Gospels and Acts. What Paul writes in letters to the early churches. The basics of how we all choose to behave / act / react in every situation of our lives. Decisions that roll up, not trickle down to affect ourselves, those we love and know, our communities, or world. As one anonymous person said, “It all adds up.” These behaviors stem from deceptively plain commandments, we often dismiss as too simple in light of our ‘complicated and busy’ modern lives. These include:

· How to treat others and ourselves
· How to honor God and
· How to trust and depend on God instead of our own self interest

This past Sunday, Steven talked about steps for spiritual growth, growth that yields the fruits of the Spirit. I was sitting in the back of the worship space with Ryan Simmons, listening when he turned to me and said, “What I've learned is that all of life is to learn moderation, except in love.” What a profound and very true statement. Jesus talks a lot about love as does Paul and other writers of the New Testament. (Some of them are included at the end of this writing.) Love is mentioned 298 times in the Old Testament and 198 times in the New Testament (NIV). Love is important throughout the Bible.

There have been several signs in my life that working on love is an area that I need to pursue. Love through justice issues that I seem to constantly think about these days. Love mentioned in conversations with family and friends. So Ryan’s comment was one of many, but it was his comment and what Steven was speaking about last week that put it all together for me. Sometimes, the signs are just there and must be pursued.

I decided to begin with the spiritual practice of breath prayer. In Hebrew the words for breath and spirit are the same word, ruach. A breath prayer, when used over time, can help us to experience what it means in Romans 8:26-27 for “the Spirit to pray in us.” It is a short prayer that can be said or thought in a single breath. Over the past few days, a breath prayer has emerged which I am now practicing as a walk from place to place, when driving along, and as I do simple task like the dishes. My breath prayer is on the intake of a breath, “Loving God” and the exhale, “Be present in me,” most likely influenced also by the book I’m reading, ‘The Practice of the Presence of God,’ by Brother Lawrence. And as the week goes on, its beginning to feel more natural.

My hope is that love becomes more present in my thoughts and actions. Love motivating me to help my neighbors everywhere. Love for the earth and its resources spurns better recycling and making do with instead of buying new. Love defending those who cannot.

To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices." Mark 12:33

And change begins . . . one breath, one tea spoonful at a time.

Deana
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. 2 Corinthians 2:14

spoon
By: Dave Matthews Band

The spoon in spoon, stirring my coffee,
I thought of you and turned to the gate
And on my way, came up with the answers
I scratched my head and the answers were gone

From hand to hand, wrist to the elbow,
Red, blood, sand, could Dad be God?
Crosses cross, hold out like a wet rag
Forgive you, why? You hung me out out dry.

Oh, maybe I'm crazy,
But laughing out loud will make the pain pass by
And maybe you're a little crazy,
And laughing out loud will make it all subside
Holding, I'm holding out,
I'm still falling, I'm still falling

The spoon in spoon, stirring my coffee,
I thought of this and turned to the gate
And on my way cracked lightning then thunder,
I hid my head and the storm slipped away

Well, maybe I'm crazy
But laughing out loud will make it all pass by
But maybe you're a little crazy,
And laughing out loud will make it all go by

Laughing out loud

From time to time, minutes and hours,
Some move ahead while some lag behind
It's like the balloon, it rise and then vanish,
This drop of hope falls from his eye

Spoon in spoon, stirring my coffee,
I think of this and turn to go away
Well as I walked,
There're voices behind me singing, "sinner, sin, come now and play."

Come out, come out,
Come now and play

Love from the New Testament

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, Matthew 5:44

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. Matthew 6:24

"Here is my servant whom I have chosen, the one I love, in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations. Matthew 12:18

"Woe to you Pharisees, because you love the most important seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces. Luke 11:43

Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me. John 14:21

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." Jonh 21:15

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:39

The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Romans 13:9

Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. 1Corinthians 8:1

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1Corinthians 13:8

Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. 1Corinthians 8:1

fog

2008-01-10T23:00:00.000-08:00

I’ve started walking again this week. Several of us from the office are out of state visiting call centers and have started a new habit of exercising late in the evening to burn off some calories from the day’s food adventures, or should I say misadventures?! The first couple of days we all went down to use the exercise room, each taking one of the three machines. There was a bike, a treadmill and stair steps. We all had our favorites and were happy to pass the time together. But when one of them broke down yesterday evening, and another was in use, we decided to walk outside.

Luckily, it’s been nice in North Carolina this week, a full 20 degrees warmer than Kansas, so it has been quite pleasant to walk in the evening, especially tonight. It rained quite a bit today, but this evening, the whole world was enveloped in a thick fog. Fog that wrapped itself in hills as well as valleys. Fog in parking lots and roads. Fog creating halos around street lamps and lit signs. Fog creating mist on our car’s windshield as we drove back to the hotel from work.

There are many instances of fog in popular culture. Most have to do with scary movies and unknown creatures lurking to catch those who venture out in it. From books by Steven King to movies about this weather change is not very positive. Also, from a driver’s point of view, fog isn’t the preferred way to travel anywhere, especially thick fog with limited visibility. As for me, fog has almost the same affect as snow does on my psyche. Fog is calming, muffling sharp noises into a blurr of white noise. Fog forces me to slow down in the car and adds a touch of mystery to evenings out.

What I also find interesting is that fog is a visual representation of the atmosphere we live in. On regular clear, sunny days, yes, air and atmosphere are around. We breathe the air and know it is there, but it is invisible. On foggy days, we can see where all the air is through its moist and misty counterpart. As I considered fog’s properties on tonight’s walk, my thoughts turned to God.

We are told as children that “God is everywhere”. I’ve seen some kids look around for God after that statement. Is God just behind ready to tap me on the shoulder? Has God just left the building? Is God playing hide and seek? God was everywhere, but not visible, a hard concept for children, even adults to understand and internalize.

Yes, God is everywhere. God is present at all times. Good and bad. Prayer and ‘real life moments’. God is around us, inside us, sort of like the air we breathe and need to survive as well as the love and actions we show others. Fog made the air, the atmosphere of air, visible, and in turn, reminded me of God’s presence in my life.

May God surround you like a calming foggy evening very soon.

"Lift up your heart to Him, sometimes even at your meals, and when you are in company; the least little remembrance will always be acceptable to God. You need not cry very loud; he is nearer to us than we are aware of." Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God.

In Christ,

Deana

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. Psalm 73:28

respite

2008-01-04T13:49:00.000-08:00

res·pite n. 1. A usually short interval of rest or relief. 2. Law Temporary suspension of a death sentence; a reprieve. Synonyms 1. hiatus, rest, recess. 2. postponement, stay. 3. alleviate. 4. postpone, suspend. American Heritage Dictionary

I’ve had quite a few days off recently in frantic, ‘use it or lose it’ end-of-year vacation. During this time, after a few days of ‘work withdrawal’, I’ve been enjoying a respite, a Sabbath of sorts. Here are some glimpses of my past week:

* We have a cardinal pair visiting our bird feeders regularly now as well as juncos (I love those little birds). We also have a hawk visiting, not at the same time, thank goodness.

* Our dog Halo has a huge big bark, especially for the garbage pick-up folks.

* Less is more when it comes to gifts. What do I really need anyway? Mostly, I need time to read the stack of books whispering my name.

* My studio actually has a floor, most recently covered in all kinds of things. I can now walk in it without tripping or snagging a sock on something. I think creating art is right around the corner.

* Guitar Hero is actually fun, at least at the easy level, I can play Heart and not get booed off the stage MOST of the time, darn that ring finger key!

* Brother Lawrence has some great writings. Try “Practicing the Presence of God.” Brian Mclaren’s book, “Everything Must Change,” has some VERY interesting things to say about the “Security Societal Machine” we all feed.

* We have a ‘shy’ not a ‘sly’ fox roaming the neighborhood. It runs away as the door opens. A running fox is pretty cool to thing to watch.

* I still love snow as much as I did as a kid. I continue to be amazed at how quiet and hushed it is outside when it snows.

* Drinking hot chocolate with my daughter while watching “The Polar Express” is a tradition I want to continue.

* A little time alone among other responsibilities can be one of the most calming and peaceful things I can do to re-center myself on what is most important. Discipleship is a balance in faith, service, rest, but most importantly reliance on God in all these areas.

As you venture into 2008, take a respite to listen and discover what God has planned for you next.

In Christ,
Deana

"Six days you shall labor, but on the seventh day you shall rest; even during the plowing season and harvest you must rest.” Exodus 34:21

a dickens of a time and other ancient carol ponderings

2007-12-27T22:19:00.000-08:00

"...at the first sound of — "God bless you merry, gentlemen! May nothing you dismay!"— Scrooge seized the ruler with such energy of action, that the singer fled in terror, leaving the keyhole to the fog and even more congenial frost.”

One of my all-time favorite works of literature, stage and screen is Charles Dickens’, A Christmas Carol. Written in 1843, this classic tale has been humorously remade with Muppets and the 80’s corporate TV version “Scrooged” with Bill Murray getting decked by Carol Kane as well as countless other more serious versions. I think my favorite adaptation of this story was done with Star Trek captain, Patrick Stewart in 1999, whose scene of someone trying to laugh after not doing so after decades was brilliant.

Social injustice and poverty and their cause and effects are clearly a large part of Dickens’ message. In a time where the Industrial Revolution was in full swing, A Christmas Carol brought forth what such a society was producing. Originally written by Dickens to pay off debt, the novella of Ebenezer’s redemption was an instant success, selling 6K copies in a week, a very large quantity for that era. Although some claim the story has more of a secular influence on modern culture than religious, one only has to look at some of the major themes of the story and the anchoring / prominently featured carol, God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen to see other strong influences of this work.

The words of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen were first published in 1833 and it is believed this is one of the oldest Christmas carols. The lyrics of this carol are traditional ‘Olde’ English, which some claim dates back to the 15th century. The author of the song is unknown. This song touches on many of the major events of Jesus’ birth, which taught those who were illiterate, the Bible the Gospel account outside the church walls. The carol was most likely written in quiet rebellion against the somber tone of religious music within organized church worship, carols such as this one had the air of a joyous Christmas party. In fact, many of that time would dance to it.

Sadly, the carol has lost it original meaning over the years. Our modern understanding of vocabulary turns a strong message into a watered-down version. We interpret the beginning line of this ancient carol and translate ‘merry’ to our understanding of ‘happy’. In Old English, ‘merry’ meant something quite different, "mighty" or "powerful" (Think Robin Hoods Merry Men - They weren't happy; they were a powerful fighting unit) The word ‘rest’ in the old English also meant to invest a property in or in other words to ‘make’. Therefore, the first line of the carol in modern English translates as "God Make You Mighty, Gentlemen".

Another phrase notes, 'O tidings of comfort and joy,' in which the word tidings actually represents, an account of what has taken place, and was not before known. Indeed a great comfort and joy to people throughout the world then and now. It was written as a reminder of the true meaning of the day. "Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day" was a reminder of a greater happiness in store.

Caroling even after Christmas Day,

Deana

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” Charles Dickens

God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen
God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
For Jesus Christ our Saviour (or Remember Christ our Saviour)
Was born upon this day (or Was born on Christmas Day)
To save us all from Satan's power (or To save poor souls from Satan's power)
When we were gone astray (or When they had gone astray)
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

In Bethlehem, in Jewry, (or Judah, literally, "in Israel")
This blessèd Babe was born (or The humble Christ was born)
And laid within a manger (or And God sent us salvation)
Upon this blessèd morn (or That blessed Christmas morn)
To which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

From God our Heavenly Father
A blessèd Angel came;
And unto certain Shepherds
Brought tidings of the same:
How that in Bethlehem was born
The Son of God by Name.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

"Fear not then," said the Angel,
"Let nothing you affright,
This day is born a Saviour
Of a pure Virgin bright,
To free all those who trust in Him
From Satan's power and might."
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

The shepherds at those tidings
Rejoiced much in mind,
And left their flocks a-feeding
In tempest, storm and wind:
And went to Bethlehem straightway
This blessed Babe to find. (or The Son of God to find)
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

But when to Bethlehem they came (or And when they came to Bethlehem)
Whereat this Infant lay, (or Where our dear Saviour lay)
They found Him in a manger,
Where oxen feed on hay;
His Mother Mary kneeling, (or His mother Mary kneeling down,)
Unto the Lord did pray.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas
All other doth efface.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

let it linger

2007-12-21T11:20:00.000-08:00

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 2 Peter 1:5-7

Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind. Henry James

It seems that this is the time of year for orange eating. The sweet oranges find their way into stocking toes filled with goodies Christmas morning. Oversized oranges pile up in grocery stores. Ripe oranges and clementines are added to fruit baskets and salads. It is definitely orange season.

The exact location of origin of citrus fruits is not clearly identified, although most researchers place it in South-East Asia, at least 4000 years BC. There are actually different legends about the origin of citrus. The spread of citrus fruits from Asia to Europe was slow. First, citrus fruits were taken to North Africa and then, probably by the fall of the Roman Empire, they entered the South of Europe, where they flourished in the Middle Ages. Citrus fruits were brought to America by the Spaniards (Columbus took seeds of citrus fruits with him in his second trip) and the Portuguese in their exploration trips to the New World, around year 1500. It is believed that the word "orange" originates from Sanskrit.

This week, I went to the break room at work to get some hot water for tea. As I entered the room, I immediately realized that someone had peeled an orange. No one was around and no orange visible, yet the fresh, sweet scent permeated the whole area, lingering.

In all our interactions with family, friends and strangers, we have the opportunity to do something similar what an orange does when peeled or sliced. Treating others with respect and kindness, regardless of the situation has a lasting effect not only on the other person, but on you. Kindness leaves a lingering presence for a clerk who has interacted with crabby shoppers all day. Kindness helps another driver merge in a construction zone during heavy traffic. Kindness finds its way in mailboxes with thank you notes and Christmas well wishes. Kindness travels the internet highway and the phone lines and wireless mobile networks as calls are made and time is taken to talk to others.

No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves. Amelia Earhart

This weekend, we prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Practice leaving a lingering presence of kindness and love in your wake. Leave that enduring feeling of true Christmas spirit, then carry this practice into 2008 with you, leaving kindness roots all around your community. Spreading the lingering scent of kindness ensures it will take root to grow and bear fruit again. Kindness is truly one of the fruits of the Spirit and a revolution of positive change.

Orange, anyone?

In Christ,
Deana

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” Mother Teresa

Learn ways to bless your neighbor with simple acts of kindness
http://www.cor.org/missions/kc-missions/blessyourneighbors/

on the road again

2007-12-14T21:18:00.000-08:00

It’s been a week of three-a-day check-point calls a day with VP level execs trying to push code into production. Any of you who work at corporations know that this type of visibility is not the preferred way to work. Issue-driven calls at any hour of the day or night are not fun in any stretch of the imagination. On top of that, all assume a small number of people can continue to perform round the clock. In short, it has been brutal for a few of my colleagues.

This morning, after some of these fine folks pulled an all nighter, I stopped to get them some coffee and tea. All went fine until I began walking up a hill towards the building on our campus. One of the large iced tea lemonades toppled from the carton carrier and dropped to the sidewalk. The cup split open from the bottom, spilling the entire contents directly in front of me. Yikes!

After unloading the rest of the drinks in the testing war room, I set off to replace Kelly’s refreshment at a nearby store. Walking back to my car while everyone was walking into work was a strange experience. I traveled against the current passing people walking the opposite direction on the sidewalks. I got on elevators instead of off and road them up instead of down. I watched cars parading into the parking ramp as I made my way back to street level. I drove the empty side of the road with instead of the crowded opposite direction migrating to work. Going against the flow made me as well as the people around me well aware that I wasn’t going in their direction. I felt conscious of it as people looked up from their commutes and registered what I was doing.

Often changes in how we do things feel like that. If we are used to doing ‘the norm’ or ‘what is expected’ by regular society, then turn to another behavior which may be less mainstream but, indeed more Christ-like. This is in all aspects of our lives. Paul says,

“So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life - and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” Romans 12: 1-2 Message Version

Everything we do every day is an offering to God. How we disagree. How we agree with others are important. Other daily choices you make may include: How you treat clerks at the store? Do you let others merge easily in your lane of traffic? How to you spend your extra money? What is the ratio of charitable giving vs. for dinner out or entertainment or other goodies? Do you recycle in any way? How do you discard usable items from your house? How do you serve others who are less fortunate than you? Do you get angry or hold your temper? How well do you practice patience in your relationships? These are just a few to think about.

And it will be said: "Build up, build up, prepare the road! Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people." Isaiah 57:14

We make thousands of decisions a day which are either ‘status quo’ for our own habits or how others expect us to behave. Choices we make on how to live and work day to day. The kicker is, are these choices transforming us or are we conforming to the world around us? This holiday season and into next year, examine some of your behaviors. Look to do one to three things differently that will please God and make the world a better place. Changes which will help improve the conditions around us in some small or even large way. This is sort of like ‘paying it forward’ without having to receive something first. So take a back road, perhaps its blacktop or gravel, and notice the difference it has. What you do will feel a bit strange at first, a bit out of the ordinary, but this change for someone else as well as yourself is a pleasing gift to God and to God’s kingdom. An excellent gift in honor of Jesus’ birth this year.

On the road again,
Deana

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference” --Robert Frost

merry christmas, betty

2007-12-13T13:16:00.000-08:00

This Christmas, I adopted another child through Compassion International and dedicated a month to some of my friends as a gift. They will receive updates, notes, and pictures from Betty to learn more about her and her family. Here is my first email letter to her.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings and Merry Christmas, Betty.

I hope this email finds you and y our family well. My name is Deana Hartman and our family is your sponsor. We live in Kansas. Kansas is a state in the United States.

I live with my husband, Wayne and our daughter, Kayla. Kayla is 9 years old and is in grade 3. She likes to sing in choir, read as well as write and draw stories, play football, and make collages out of fabrics and papers. Wayne works at a wireless phone company. He likes draw and paint pictures, watch plays and help build or refurbish buildings. I also work at the same wireless telephone company. I like to read, take photographs, create fabric pictures (quilts) and I also help the lead Bible study with a youth group for ages 14-18 with one of our pastors.

Our family lives in a light blue house. We have dogs and cats as pets. We are very active in our church, FirstLight. FirstLight is a new church, not even 3 years old. I help plan worship and decorate the altar with flowers and candles. I also work with the youth, and sing in the band. Wayne helps with setting up chairs and other equipment on Sundays as we meet in a local school instead of a church building. He is also helping to renovate an old building so that we can use it for meetings and gatherings. Kayla loves her Sunday School classes and sings in the choir for children.

It is cold and icy here this time of year. We had an ice storm this week where we received over 1/2 inch of ice on all trees, bushes, streets and buildings. It is very pretty, but it can bring down the tree limbs with the weight of the ice. I took some pictures of it and plan to send you a photo in my first paper letter to you.

This year for the Christmas holidays, our family will travel to a nearby state, Missouri, to visit my mom and dad as well as my brother's family on December 21-22. Then we will return to Kansas as Wayne and I are contributing to Christmas eve services. I will sing in two services on Christmas eve and help to decorate the worship space. Wayne will set up and take down the chairs and equipment. I am really looking forward to the special candlelight service to celebrate Jesus' birth.

I will write more later and send pictures of our family and where we live.

Here is the memory verse that I am thinking and practicing...

"I am the light of the world." -- said Jesus in John 8:12
"You are the light of the world." -- said Jesus in Matthew 5:14

You are already bringing light into our lives, Betty. We can’t wait to learn more about you. Please know that many people in our church are praying for you and your family.

God bless you,

Deana Hartman

scandalous compassion

2007-12-06T20:12:00.000-08:00

"No, you can't always get what you want. And if you try sometime you find, you get what you need.” --The Rolling Stones

“The disciples, each according to his ability, decided to provide help for the brothers living in Judea.” --Acts 11:29

FirstLight adopted many families for Christmas this year. Several weeks ago, on our Mission table, there were dozens of multi-colored, half dollar-sized pieces of construction paper. All represented what children months old to 17 years wanted this Christmas. Some said, “socks” “shirts” “sweatshirts” “a coat” “bras” “pants” “bath stuff” “black shoes”. These were simple requests for basic needs for everyday life. Not what I expected to see for a Christmas wish. Other coins on the table mentioned “a book” “a game” “a ball” “toy for toddler” as some requests above basic needs, yet still not the overly jealous lists of my past.

As a child, I was partial to the JC Penny catalog. Pre-internet, Libby Lu, Build-a-Bear and even Wal-Mart, the JC Penny catalog was THE place to find every conceivable idea for Christmas gifts. For my friends and I, it was our best research tool other than Saturday morning cartoon TV ads to find more stuff to have. We poured over the well-turned, wrinkly pages of the three inch thick tome, making extensive wish lists for my parents and Santa to peruse. And even though it probably kept me out of my parents’ hair for a bit, it isn’t a fond memory for me anymore. Now it seems rather greedy.

“Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order that they may provide for daily necessities and not live unproductive lives. Titus 3:14

This week I receive an update from the Advent Conspiracy project. (Please visit that site if you only click on one of the links in this blog). The update contained You Tube ad for a new movie, “What Would Jesus Buy?” This was a play on the overused “What Would Jesus Do’ marketed and sold in Christian and mainstream stores for several years. The FYI for the move is the second video on this page. Two areas of consideration are called forth from these links at the Advent Conspiracy website:

Christmas is about Christ and compassion for all in the kingdom here and now and:
Christmas is not about consumption and debt.

Often we say that ‘Christmas is for the kids,’ but what are we teaching them through the association of so many gifts / things at Christmas? What are we teaching them about compassion, love and generosity? How are we teaching them to look beyond wants and luxuries to the needs of others, who in many cases do not have adequate food, water or shelter?

In a weekly email I received from Ben, our Youth Pastor, he said, “I would encourage everyone to find ways to be generous this Christmas. Molly and I are committing to spend an equal amount of money on gifts for others as we are spending on our family. There are many ways to do this--picking up a gift from the Glocal Ministries Table at FirstLight on Sunday to give to a child in our community, visiting Heifer Project International and giving animals this Christmas, donating funds to City Union Mission in Kansas City, Crosslines, the Salvation Army, or other social service organizations. Consider how you might widen your circle of generosity this Christmas.”

I challenge you to take a step back from your Christmas shopping list and be aware of the messages which bombard us, pressure us to buy and charge to be happier, to have a ‘good Christmas’. Instead of buying lots of stuff for your friends and family, give of yourself by creating a gift of love. These could be cookies, a scrap booked page, a heart-felt hand-written thank you note, a picture you took, a drawing, a night of free babysitting, fixing something broken you know how to fix, the list is as endless as the talents we have all been given. Then, look for ways to help others locally or internationally.

Join advent conspiracy. It is what we all need.

In Christ,
Deana

Visit these Sites
http://www.worldwatercouncil.org/index.php?id=25
http://www.outofthedump.org/
http://www.wr.org/

snowfall

2007-11-30T23:17:00.001-08:00

For some, the bane of winter months, enough so that they migrate south to Arizona, Florida and the like, but for me, I love snow.

Maybe it’s because I have so many good or at least interesting memories associated with snow. I make a snow angels to this day if there is enough snow. I thoroughly enjoyed the wild abandon of toboggan rides by the Kennedy lake, 2-3 aboard, screaming at the top of our lungs as we sailed closer to the ice-bound lake shore. Most of all, I especially looked forward to the artful way howling prairie winds, a bit of field dirt and snow can change the landscape into rolling snowdrifts.

Wind sculpts snow into drifts, filling not only roadside ditches, but entire highways. In my late teens, there was a snowstorm in Fort Dodge, IA, my home town. The last bit of street to our house was twisted and turned several times, giving ample opportunity for wind to create large drifts of snow. Not 2 footers, or even 3, but (no lie) 7 footers and above. Yes, my Kansas friends, rarely have I sent that kind of snow in the Metro area. But Iowans know wind and lots of snow = drifts galore.

Now I’d heard about people getting stuck in drifts. Heard of it, but how could that be? I could rock my car out most slides on wintry streets. So when I rounded one of the last corners to our house and saw a looming drift underneath the street light, something seized me. I had to run into it. This was not because I was sliding out of control, but because I had to find out what it was like to run into a drift. So I did what any foolish senior high student would do in a wool skirt and tights, I sped up and ran straight into the drift.

I immediately realized my mistake. The car’s tires were now off the ground and in the lower mid-section of the drift. Mind you, I had a shovel in the trunk, but did I have boots? A hat? Gloves or mittens? Of course not! Here I was, in sub-zero temperatures on a windy, stormy night, stuck in a drift 1.5 blocks from my house. . . of my own doing! Ah, the reckless stupidity of it.

Perhaps in your mind’s eye you’ve imagined this scene. You watched me run into that drift with the 1977 Chevy Nova. You felt the cold as I slogged through the snow to dig, then rock, then dig, then rock, and rock that car until I release it from its snow bonds. You watched as I drove the last bit of street, eyes bright, cheeks red, fingers and toes wet and numb, now shaking your head with a grin at my rather bad decision that night.

God probably does this to us when we make decisions like these. Decisions that seemed like great ideas to us in that instant, but we then regret. Regardless of the instruction we get, the scripture we read, the life we aspire to live, we are humans with the sometimes crazy idea that we know better either by listening to our own council or the loud opinions of mainstream society. But when that still, small voice quietly grabs our attention, we see it for what it is and repent of it.

Repent is a word with a rather interesting past. Repent, for me at least, conjures up tent revivals and altar calls. Of serious faux pas and illegal activity that must be confessed. Big sins. Merriam Webster says repent means,

“1: to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life

2 a: to feel regret or contrition b: to change one's mind”.

As people who follow in Jesus’ teachings we must repent. To turn away from what is not of God and back to God. That means big goofs as well as little ones we do day after day.

“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord” Acts 3:19

What I’ve learned is the key is to keep working towards practicing the presence of God in all decisions. To be aware in daily activities and decisions in how we treat others as well as ourselves. It’s not a one-time repentance, but an ongoing process and a crucial part of spiritual formation.

Brother Lawrence, was a lay brother in a Carmelite monastery. He is most wrote of his closeness to God in the book, “Practicing the Presence of God.” To do this, he said we are to walk before God simply, in faith, with humility, and with love. We are to be in continual, silent, and affectionate conversation with God. Out of love for God, we strive to do and think nothing which may displease God. So common tasks, no matter how mundane were a medium of God’s love. It isn’t the status or even the sacredness of the task, but the motivation behind it.

"Nor is it needful that we should have great things to do. . . We can do little things for God; I turn the cake that is frying on the pan for love of him, and that done, if there is nothing else to call me, I prostrate myself in worship before him, who has given me grace to work; afterwards I rise happier than a king. It is enough for me to pick up but a straw from the ground for the love of God." (Br. Lawrence)

No matter what you do. Changing a baby’s diaper; picking up trash in a parking lot, washing mounds of laundry, or shoveling the sidewalk. All are sacred tasks. All are opportunities for us to practice the presence of God, to make better choices and to grow in the process.

I was lucky I did not to clog the exhaust pipe or to get frostbite that night. And, no, I would not willingly drive a car into a drift again, even though I was able to free myself the first time. I’ve learned and turned.

Yet, I still love any beautifully sculpted drifts I see. I just admire from a respectful distance.

Still hoping for some serious snow this winter,

Deana

If you are shivering or at least chilly after reading this, perhaps you need snow’s other half in this poem by Frank Asch

Sunflakes

If sunlight fell like snowflakes,
gleaming yellow and so bright,
we could build a sunman,
we could have a sunball fight,
we could watch the sunflake
drifting in the sky.
We could go sleighing
in the middle of July
through sundrifts and sunbanks,
we could ride a sunmobile,
and we could touch sunflakes—
I wonder how they'd feel.

swimmer

2007-11-23T08:35:00.000-08:00

From the time I was in grade school through high school varsity, I swam. First it was the YMCA programs which lasted through middle school, then with the high school team. Hours upon hours were spent on drills with kick boards, pull buoys, and hand paddles honing my skills and learning to be a better swimmer. Laps in sets of sprints as well as long stretches where I practiced freestyle, breaststroke, backstroke and butterfly. In the end, I was a distance swimmer in my teens, depending on friends to count and flip then number of laps during longer races. I did the 500 as well as 200 as usually relayed on the 4 x 100 or the IM in competitions in freestyle.

In my younger years we had after school practices, in high school, two-a-days starting at 6AM before school and finishing after school around 5, clocking 2-3 miles of laps a day. For this much time in the water at the high school level I needed to get adequate rest, eat fairly well, and use extra time for other fun activities in between commitments for church, school work and swimming. Basically, to make the commitment for swimming took some rearranging of my priorities, especially around what I had of free time. To this day, dips in any pool or the smell of chlorine are an instant flashback to the echoing chambers of the YMCA or the high school pools.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me,
he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
Matthew 16: 24

This model could be applied to following Jesus. Priorities shift. Time is spent in one area of my life shift to other areas learning to live as disciple. A The term disciple comes from a New Testament Greek word which was then translated from Latin ‘discipulus’ meaning "a learner" then into English. Disciple should not be confused with apostle, meaning "messenger, he that is sent". The word disciple appears two hundred and thirty two times in the four gospels and the Book of Acts.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will
is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

To be a disciple of Jesus, time must be spend learning those teachings in the New Testament, yet also understanding the scriptures studied during Jesus’ time. It means learning to make a priority in my life what Jesus thought was important. It means rearranging what I want into what Jesus wants. To be a disciple means practicing what Jesus practiced: love, prayer, justice and spiritual transformation of myself as well as others.

This Sunday is the culmination of the Christian year. We celebrate Christ the King Sunday. On Christ the King Sunday, Christians recognize and worship Christ as king of heaven and earth for all time without challenge and without end. This is a good time to assess what is king in your life. Are you treading water in certain areas? Do you spend more time in other areas of your life instead of taking more step to be Do you need more practice in your prayer life? In loving others? Take time this week to see where you are and take that next step, or shall I say lap in the pool?

In Christ all things are possible,

Deana

Books
The Bible
The Great Omission: Reclaiming Jesus Essential Teachings on Discipleship by Dallas Willard
Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis
The Jesus I Never Knew by Phillip Yancey

holy mackerel

2007-11-16T20:38:00.000-08:00

"...Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth." Matthew 12:40

I learned a new version of hide and seek at the Youth Fall Retreat in October. It’s called Sardines. Not to be confused with the great little jazz place down by the Plaza with incredible chicken fried steak on Thursdays, this form of Sardines resembled its canned fishy counterpart.

The gist of Sardines is that one or two people are deemed ‘it’. Those ‘it’ hide in a designated area (for us it was from cabin to tree line to the road by Asbury cabin at Camp Chippewa) as the rest of the group counts. We counted to 50. Then, all of the group not ‘it’ goes out looking for the ‘hiders.’ The catch is that when you find them, you hide along with them until all but a few remain looking. To keep from being noticed, all cramped together as sardines in a can in the shadows but really in plain site and waited and watched (we played at night) as others located us. In some respects it also reminded me of a small school of fish, moving together, or in this case, not moving all together.

The profile of a fish, said to have been used by early Christians as a secret symbol. It was known to be used to designate early church meeting places as often they changed location to protect those who came to the meetings. The fish symbol today is now known colloquially as the "Jesus fish" and (to a lesser extent) the "holy mackerel." In Ancient Greek, “Ichthus” is the word for "fish." Thhis Greek word, even today can be seen in many commercial designs form bumper stickers to jewelry. In English it refers to a symbol consisting of two intersecting arcs.

"Come after Me, and I will make you become fishers of men." Mark 1:17

Fish are prominent in the Bible. The Old Testament has 30 references from Genesis to Zephaniah. In the New Testament, I counted 30 references, of which 29 were in the gospels and only one in 1 Corinthians. This may be for several reasons. Like sheep, fish were a part of the culture, therefore part of the storytelling culture. Fish were a source of protein available to more of the people. Not all people had herds of animals, but if there was a way to fashion a fishing line or make a net, then fish could be had.

"And they said to Him, 'We have here only five loaves and two fish.'" Matthew 14:17

There are several theories surrounding the growth of the fish symbol over the early life of the church. Perhaps this is because fish also played a part in Jesus ministry. He fed thousands of people on bread and fish. Some of his disciples were fisherman. Fish were caught under Jesus’ instruction. Indeed perhaps the concept of reaching more people with the message of hope in the Kingdom Jesus brought hinted at the countless number of fish / disciples of a growing movement.

The spiritual overtones of a fun game like Sardines has some of this, shall we say, flavor? Those seeking find a group of people who live in community, right out in the open, and who welcome all who join.

A “true” fish story anyway.

In Christ,
Deana

Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias. It happened this way: Simon Peter, Thomas (called Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. "I'm going out to fish," Simon Peter told them, and they said, "We'll go with you."

So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, "Friends, haven't you any fish?" "No," they answered. He said, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some." When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, "It is the Lord," he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken
it off) and jumped into the water.

The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards. When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread. Jesus said to them, "Bring some of the fish you have just caught." Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast." None of the disciples dared ask him, "Who are you?" They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with
the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead. John 21:1-14

Small group study in mission

2007-11-09T12:21:00.001-08:00

Mission activity on November 3.

The Irresistible Revolution Book Study group ended their study by serving in
Gardner and the KC Metro area. Making lunches for the working
poor in Kansas City to be delivered to Crosslines.

Deanna weilds the 'hammer of peace' at the FirstLight Downtown rennovation.

Gessoing Jamie puts the finishing touches on one of three art panels for the
window spaces. We are excited to have FirstLighters Steve Burns,
Cindy Champagne and Greg Cissell creating for these panels.

FirstLight is making things new in downtown Gardner.
Scripture on the wall soon to be covered.

roadkill

2007-11-09T11:32:00.000-08:00

For you were once darkness,
but now you are light in the Lord.
Live as children of light. Ephesians 5:8

I’ve driven many miles in my gazillion years behind the wheel or as a passenger in a car. Our family is famous for driving trips to places outside the Midwest. From Orlando and Philadelphia to the length of California and Vancouver Canada, our family has traveled, most of the time in station wagons until vans became popular. When National Lampoon’s Vacation came out, I was amazed at some of the similarities between that trip to the theme park and summer jaunts to all points of the states. Let’s just say, sometimes is was ‘a quest’ to a destination and leave it at that (grin).

This trend continued after I married a Navy man. Many miles were logged driving cross country to see family from California and Connecticut. Even today, in the heartland, I commute 40+ miles a day for work plus errands and the like. Along the way I see many things littering the road. A glove, one boot or shoe (where is its mate?!), parts of what might be a cell phone, pants, empty fast food bags, cans and bottles litter the highways and back roads, discarded or forgotten on tops of cars. . . remnants of lives. What bothers me more than even our carelessness at taking care of the earth is roadkill. Whether what looks like pets or small and large wild animals who meet their demise on our traffic ways fills me with sadness. This seems to be more prevalent in the spring and fall as hibernating animals awakening or rutting season beginning that mirrors more movement and tragic encounters. I always wonder if it was the inattentiveness of the driver or the random/frightened darting of an animal that created to roadkill. Today I counted 11 such lifeless creatures on the way to work.

We often leave roadkill of other kinds in our daily life. In the boardroom, classroom, or public/privated places, we all experience encounters that leave injured or dead relationships in their wake, littering the floor, broken or in disrepair. Words are said that are hurtful. Actions are taken that are destructive to us and others.

As disciples of Jesus, we are called to be the new creation in this world now, to repair, reconcile and restore that which is broken and to make right was is unjust. Can we bring back to life those poor creatures along the road? No. But we can be mindful of our own actions which can separate us from others. We can make the first move to mend what is broken, to heal what is in disrepair. We are called to be the light of the world, not the darkness. We are challenged to make the first move in love. Jesus never waited, indeed, neither can we.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Romans 12: 10-14

What roadkill have you created?

In Christ,
Deana

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37

glass truck

2007-11-01T20:02:00.000-07:00

I stopped at a traffic light on my way to work Monday. Next to me in the double right turn lane was a glass truck. I had a few moments to really look at the truck and the glass it was transporting. All the panes of glass were safely buckled into their own sized compartments. Protective cork squares littered the surface between each panel to keep them safe. The truck, the panes of glass looked like I remembered as a child. In fact, nothing about the process it seemed, the approach to transporting them to job sites, changed much. The method or practice has been unchanged, logical and safe.

I’ve been thinking a lot about discipleship lately. Perhaps it is the books I’ve just read, “Irresistible Revolution,” by Shane Claiborne and “God’s Politics: Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It, “ by Jim Wallis or one I’ve recently started, “The Challenge of Jesus,” by N.T. Wright. All challenge the safe, ‘stained glass view’ of being a Christian. All make me question my own priorities and behaviors. Not only where I spend my money, but also my energy and the time given to me to be on this earth. I wonder how I can be like Jesus. I wonder what a really know about Jesus that I can emulate.

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.” Desmond Tutu

I think that Jesus did not play it safe. For Jesus, risk was part of how he lived. Jesus cared for people others had forgotten or cast aside. Jesus stood up for what was right. Jesus was homeless. Jesus loved unconditionally not matter what a person wore, smelled like, or earned. These are some of what I am currently thinking a mulling over. I imagine this will be shaped as I study, think and write more about Jesus and discipleship.

“As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. They told him, "Jesus of Nazareth is passing by." He called out, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!" Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, "What do you want me to do for you?" "Lord, I want to see," he replied. Jesus said to him, "Receive your sight; your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.” Luke 18:35-43

"What do you want me to do for you?" said the son of God, a servant to the crippled and blind, to the sick and ostracized. Jesus, the Teacher who fed thousands using a boy’s lunch. Jesus, the Master who washed the feet of his disciples.

Perhaps instead of the protected glass on a delivery truck or a beautiful stained glass window to admire, the type of glass discipleship resembles are the shards collected from a playground, turned into a mosaic stone for an urban garden. Perhaps discipleship resembles the glass in a cup filled with a cold drink to quench a thirsty body. Or perhaps discipleship resembles the glass in a bottle, recycled to be used again instead of thrown in a garbage dump.

Rethink. Restore. Recycle.

In Christ,

Deana

the remedy

2007-10-26T22:43:00.000-07:00

“Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.” Ezekiel 16:49

and the problem is this
we were bought with a kiss
but the cheek still turned
even when it wasn't hit
and i don't know
what to do with a love like that
and i don't know
how to be a love like that
when all the love in the world
is right here among us and hatred too
so we must choose what our hands will do (DCB)

I haven’t been on a road trip in a very long time. They used to be frequent in college. Lately, they usually were a bunch of quilters going on jaunts to Paducah or other place for national quilt shows. These stopped about three years ago. Responsibilities and time commitments have limited these activities. I have to admit, I miss the open road, friends and laughter that always accompany trips like these.

This week, though, Wayne, Kevin, Jamie and I road tripped to Wildcat country. Deep in the Flint hills, in the ‘little apple’ of Manhattan, was a night of music which will not be forgotten. “The Remedy,” David Crowder Band’s (DCB) 4^th CD was a big part of the music last night. Held in a small venue, the place was packed with folks from over 5 states. From Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, Missouri, Oklahoma, and Iowa as well as two Baylor grads who joined us from DeSoto (Ben and Molly) who also cheered on their fellow Texans on stage. It was emotional; it was a challenge to all there.

The tone was set long before the concert began. In their 30 city tour, the DCB asked homeless shelters what they needed most. The overwhelming response was towels and socks. These simple staples that allow people to have warm feet and the ability to bathe, two things we often take for granted. Many fans received a request through an email blast to bring towels and socks to the concert for donation to the shelters. Those collected from the concert in Manhattan went to the local Salvation Army. David told a story during the concert of a local homeless shelter a few cities back who sent two residents to pick up the socks and towels. They were overwhelmed to the point of tears to see the site of so many donated items. This simple act by concert goers, a few minutes and dollars from their pockets had a lasting impact in many lives.

where there is pain
let there be grace
where there is suffering
bring serenity
for those afraid
help them be brave
where there is misery
bring expectancy (DCB)

Lately, I’ve realized events I used to explain away through ‘chance’ or ‘luck,’ in most cases, are not. I’ve come to believe that God puts all these things in our paths to ponder. Subtle messages in a world shouting for our attention. Opportunities, nudges, instructions, basically choices for us to make each day in how we spend our time, our money, and our energy to further our own goals or those of God’s.

and the problem it seems
is with you and me
not the love who came
to repair everything
and i don't know
what to do with a love like that
and i don't know
how to be a love like that (DCB)

I’ve been teaching a small group book study on, “Irresistible Revolution” by Shane Claiborne. It is a book that challenges our understanding of charity, justice, and right living with all of our neighbors. At almost the same time as the book study started, “The Remedy” CD came out. I bought tickets the concert at least 6 months ago, before deciding to teach the small group. Last night, convergence.

and surely we can change
surely we can change
something (DCB)

I think sometimes the pain and suffering in the world today is simply overwhelming. Everywhere we turn there are people who are hungry, tormented in war-torn countries, people who are broken, people who need others to care. Where to start? I have to admit it froze me into no action for long stretches of time in the past. Yet, can we imagine instant change? After all, we did not get into this state overnight. Our slides and slips to this point in time happened over decades, no over centuries. It will take time to make things right. Yet, the state we are in right now is no excuse to do nothing.

rem·e·dy [rem-i-dee] noun, plural -dies, verb, -died, -dy·ing.
1. something that cures or relieves a disease or bodily disorder; a healing medicine, application, or treatment.
2. something that corrects or removes an evil of any kind.
3. Law. legal redress; the legal means of enforcing a right or redressing a wrong.
4. to cure, relieve, or heal.
5. to restore to the natural or proper condition; put right: to remedy a matter.
6. to counteract or remove: to remedy an evil.

Each of us needs to do something. Whether its towels and socks at a concert or ringing bells for the Salvation Army, packing lunches for the working poor or working in the FirstLight Downtown space to ready it for ministry, these all help move us in a positive direction.

Let us be the remedy.

In Christ,

Deana

double spider day

2007-10-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

I hate spiders. I know that is a strong statement, mostly based on my fear of them, so I’ll revise it to say, I truly dislike spiders (wholeheartedly). Unfortunately, for some odd reason, spiders seem to like me and I swear, seek me out.

I received my second recluse bite in as many years on my right foot standing in a yard one evening this summer. Yesterday, sitting in the testing room, one, suspended from the ceiling, dropped down within inches of us, I guess just to ‘hang out.’ But last evening was the culmination of an 9 year tradition of spiders in the basement when I encountered ‘big daddy’ wolf spider.

Each year, the spider hierarchy begins, mostly because Wayne and I hesitate to spray for bugs partly for environmental reasons and partly due to our pets’ health. So, all throughout the spring and summer, a ‘dance of the spider stars’ our “Hartman basement spider idol’ competition occurs. Spiders, cannibalistic in nature, feed on each other, as well as other bugs. Therefore the weak are eliminated, leaving the big strong, ugly ones to rule our laundry and storage area. So what then happens in the fall? Two to three monster spiders are left to duke it out, and 99 times out of 100, I'll find them.

Nine years of spider wars. Nine years knowing what is to be in October, yet seeing them always catches me off guard. In recent years, the screaming has lessened, but the true shiver up and down my spine to my scalp is still present. For no matter how much I try to ignore my arachnid lodgers, they eventually show up in my life, and I must address it.

That could also be said about those who live in the margins of our lives. You seem the marginalized, even in small town suburbia. Perhaps it is someone holding up a cardboard sign at an exit ramp or camping out under an overpass. Maybe we see someone on a TV program (sometimes we stop to watch, other times we move on to other more happy shows). We possibly see people occasionally in soup kitchens or interact with someone on a Habitat for Humanity project working on their new house. The point is, people in need are all around us. They dwell in Gardner and Edgerton, in Olathe as well as downtown Kansas City, in Houston and Chicago, in Darfur and Calcutta, in all parts of the earth. We may choose to look past someone (or pretend to not see them), to not dig some money out of our pocket or to help with service in a shelter or kitchen, or forgo a movie to donate to feed others. But eventually, we all encounter God through those who are suffering.

"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:31-40

We have been studying Revelation for 6 weeks, culminating this week with a sermon called “Shoes Off”. I know there are folks who want Jesus to come back today, but I think there is much more we can do right now to further the kingdom, to make this place more presentable to Jesus. To serve God through serving the hungry and thirsty, to welcome the stranger, to clothe the naked, to look after the sick and visit those in prison.

Our earthly house is not in order. I pray that it is better before the bridegroom comes to call.

It’s time to look more like Jesus with skin on.

In Christ,
Deana

"He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me - you failed to do it to me.' Matthew 25: 45

Take the the World Art and Writing Exhibit Deadline for submissions Sunday, October 21st

2007-10-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to "Take to the World?" We sing this song each week at the end of worship. The FirstLight Gallery is looking for artist and writers in all mediums to take a closer look at the song and the phrase. Artwork and writing must be given to Deana on Sunday, October 21st or by arrangement by Wednesday, October 24th.Please contact Deana Hartman at deana331@yahoo.com or 913-226-3646 if you have any questions.

the metanoia

For what it's worth

reconsidered

unwanted

cold-blooded

rooted

where did you go

configured

a wasteland

de served

New Poem: Littered.

migration

The Empire and the Pulpit

A wolf, a Charlotte and Mrs. T

living an imbalanced life. . .on purpose

global community, global kin. . . one voice united

“The lack of a caring community that incarnates the Word makes us more and more incapable of being heard.”- Melba MaggayFilipino theologian

Why are you still here? What are you waiting for?

Buechner and the great temptation of anger

social justice and the gospel

the vocabulary of hate

needed interruptions

God-shaped hunger

Macrina Wiederkehr

stanley and the kingdom

a testimony of treading water, garages and creativity

unplugged

one dollar for herman and help the homeless

burned

deliverance

random

bovine reflections in boogie wonderland

sick

sacred spaces and other environmental thoughts

drawing conclusions

blackbird

flushed away

a new song

wastelands and desert people gardeners

change

first ten and the kingdom

hat

do-overs

blemish

a letter from Africa

abide it, really

jesus lives next door

spoon

fog

respite

a dickens of a time and other ancient carol ponderings

let it linger

on the road again

merry christmas, betty

scandalous compassion

snowfall

swimmer

holy mackerel

Small group study in mission

roadkill

glass truck

the remedy

double spider day

Take the the World Art and Writing Exhibit Deadline for submissions Sunday, October 21st

“The lack of a caring community that incarnates the Word makes us more and more incapable of being heard.”
- Melba Maggay
Filipino theologian