where did you go

did  you dissipate in the raging prairie winds, caught in the tall rustling grasses?
did you leap from a hanging outcrop, out of sight and out of mind to a rocky shore below?
did you slowly saunter down an open desert road, no car in sight with only insect songs and coyote yips to keep you company?
did you dig a hole of despair and burrow into its depression, covered  up again with the worms melting back into the earth?

where did you go?

perhaps you climbed a mountain of indifference to slide down a stagnant glacier, creeping to the sea.
perhaps you still run around an endless desolate track, legs trembling, lungs screaming.
perhaps you sit in a corner of a busy room watching others come and go, unnoticed. 
perhaps you crouched in the sagebrush, waiting for someone to find you, then finally, gave up and left to go anywhere else.

where did you go?

sometimes i see you peeking from a shattered window in an abandoned, barn, its paint peeling, rafters caving, in an empty field.
sometimes i glimpse you among the trash heap of life, threading through discarded things, stench of rot and forgotten wants.
sometimes i feel you skitter across the keyboard, leaving traces of what was and never will be again. 
sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, you linger, only to fade into cold reality when a turn my attention to you.

where did you go?

i feel a chasm where you were once, dark, deep, endless.
i grieve daily,  no remnants or traces of hope curling behind you like ribbons in your wake
i know you ran from me. i know you hide. i have no idea where to look anymore.
i think about you, i go through motions, breathing, doing what needs to be done, taking care not to rock any crafts afloat around my small splash and sink to the ocean floor.

where did you go Eros, Philos and Agape?
where did you go, love?